Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML
Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my bed. I guess that's what my little sister meant yesterday when she said I'd be sorry for not letting her play on my phone. FML
Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
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Top comments
Your_Shadow 0
Your sister is awesome.
AndelleRae 9
Aw, how thoughtful. :) Seriously though? Sleep with one eye open.
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Comments (117)
Glam_fml 0
You need to get her into therapy. Fast.
stinkybutt 0
ewwww. hahahha thats really funny. i just hope she doesn't get any dead rat sicknesses. make sure she washes her hands!
marz88 0
hahahahaha that's adorable well at least she meant well
Cinnabar 0
It was probably alive until she choked it to death with that ribbon. FRL
HAHAHSUCKS4YOU 0
That's kinky
cosmolatte 3
wtf/lol #27
plexico 4
Tonight, you're gonna get Ernie! MWAHA, MWAHAHA, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
mexicansweetie48 0
aw poor Bert. He died. )= lol i love your sister!
Schmuty 2
WTF ?????
irishdancer 0
Tell Bert I say hello!