Miscellaneous: Today I woke up to the most sinister Joker-type laughter in the... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By ardea_alba - 28/01/2016 00:03 - Russian Federation - Yekaterinburg

Today I woke up to the most sinister Joker-type laughter in the middle of the night. Amidst the blackness I could make out my husband staring at me and sneering. He then fell back and continued sleeping while I lay there scared shitless. It's morning and he has no recollection of it whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Love Awkward Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Cheating Health Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats Boredom Animals Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 101

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 798

You deserved it 5 927

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 962

You deserved it 29 825

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 485

You deserved it 4 656

Today, I told my son if he wanted the new internet password he had to clean his room. I then caught him disconnecting my laptop from the internet. Turns out he changed the password months ago and now if I want the new password he wants £50. I ended up paying. I'm actually proud of the sneaky sod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 3 427

Today, I found out three things: One, I was apparently diagnosed with Tourette's as a child. Two, my parents apparently told everyone about it, and had no idea that I didn't know about this. Three, that the diagnosis is possibly incorrect. I'm in for quite the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 65

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 1 915