By ironik970 - 17/09/2011 06:56 - United States

Spicy
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 537
You deserved it 2 791

ironik970 tells us more.

ironik970 13

OP here, I can kill a raccoon if it "comes after me" but all of the animal grunting and weird sounds emitting from the walls just paint an image of frightening animal sex in my mind. By the way its the only room on the floor so it's not coming from the room next door.

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Top comments

ImInABox 6

.. You know you like it. You and your ***********.

132 8
jillianmathers12 13

Some guy died because he tried to have sex with raccoons on 1000 Ways to Die

78 1

Comments

wisericky 12

Dont worry OP i am creating a new racoon repellent, as we speak. but i just cant get the spray to stay attached to the shotgun. Im going to capture some FML commenters and do beta testing.

14 1
ambowew 7

Look in the mirror, you've found the perfect target.

2 10
wisericky 12

ahh, number 55 you have been randomly selected out of everyone, congrats. Lets scan your intelligence... *scan noise* your intelligence seems to be that of a snail. We can work with that, great. So take this blindfold and put this apple on your head. Don't worry, there will be cake after the experiment.

18 1
mrosew442 10

DONT LISTEN TO HIM!!!!!! THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!

4 0
Lights_Out_fml 6

Considering it's probaly not over 90 degrees outside at night, you could sleep outside..

7 1
BjgUsername 12

The fmls today r ****** up, first the leg surgery and bow raccoons r having sexy-fun-time in a ******* wall

0 8
Adman567 9

#21 Thanks for the cool story bro

7 3
erockinthesuburb 17

Sounds like a job for "Billy The Exterminator" to get rid of these furry friends.

5 0
bitchslapped22 14

It's 90 degrees in Colorado in September?

5 0
allinicolesmh 0

It's 100 degrees in Texas in september..

4 0
kenziem18 0

That's what I was thinking.. I'm in CO right now on vacation and it's freaking cold outside.. I feel like some people make their FML's up.

0 0
ironik970 13

Indeed Texas just because I live in Colorado doesn't mean my relatives all live in Colorado.

6 0
trevishere 7

Mr. OP, You look old enough to drive.. why not drive away? Or just kill the raccoons.

2 2
ironik970 13

It's free housing I'm 1,100 miles from home visiting family why would I drive away my life sucks for approximately 6 hours a night other than that whatever it's not like I'm being held hostage no need to flee. Besides $50 or $60 bucks a night at a hotel where you probably have to listen to your next door neighbors actually have sex isn't worth it.

1 1
andreakidd 2

I'm sorry OP. :( My grandpa and family lives in Colorado haha.

0 0
jpallan 3

Honestly, the raccoons have every right to have kinky sex, same as you do. Let them have their fun and stop sweating.

0 0
asterik99 3

Get a honey badger in there, it will eat them both, or join in.

0 0
drawmesunshine 17

See the honey badger? He don't give a shit.

0 0
kenziem18 0

He's getting stung like a thousand times, honey badger don't care, honey badger don't give a shit.

0 0