Miscellaneous: Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room.... - FML

By ironik970 - 17/09/2011 06:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 537

You deserved it 2 791

ironik970 tells us more.

ironik970 13

Saturday 17 September 2011 22:50

OP here, I can kill a raccoon if it "comes after me" but all of the animal grunting and weird sounds emitting from the walls just paint an image of frightening animal sex in my mind. By the way its the only room on the floor so it's not coming from the room next door.

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

ImInABox 6

Saturday 17 September 2011 15:53

.. You know you like it. You and your ***********.

jillianmathers12 13

Saturday 17 September 2011 16:06

Some guy died because he tried to have sex with raccoons on 1000 Ways to Die

Comments

iamsamiam 1

Monday 5 March 2012 20:47

90 degrees. Wow. Try enduring a summer with 120 degree weather, then you can complain.

6demon6spawn6 12

Saturday 7 June 2014 20:01

but ... its only 90° ... what is wrong wih you?.

failalltheway 22

Wednesday 11 March 2015 5:52

5 nights at aunties.

alerra 21

Saturday 12 March 2016 17:17

Why didn't you buy a fan? Like a $20 portable one.

melliii94 5

Saturday 16 July 2016 13:35

Come crying to me when it's 40 (104 Fahrenheit) degrees with no aircon! Sincerely Australia Seriously though that sucks! Lol

randybryant799 20

Friday 3 December 2021 5:21

That's absurd.

Keywords

Growing old Health Relatable Mental health Periods Embarrassing Job interview Awkward Work Education Social Media Love Stalker Instagram Spiders Ironic Animals Phobias Ecology Bikes Transportation Weird Parents Confused Kids Drunk AITA Poopoo peepee Facebook Geek

The Top

Today, I'd always wanted a baby girl, so much so I wound up with four boys before deciding I couldn’t handle another pregnancy. The eldest two hate their dad, the youngest two hate me, and all four of them hate each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 516

Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 171

The Top

Today, police knocked on my door in middle of the night. They said there was a fire in one of the houses in our street, so they were evacuating houses. They wouldn’t let me go back and get dressed. As I was only in my underwear, they told me I could wait in their car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 92

Today, my neighbor's pesky 7-year-old daughter, who is friends with the guy I really like, decided to help me with him. She used her phone to send him a picture of me. I was in the shower, completely naked and surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 097

You deserved it 771

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 893

You deserved it 4 166

Today, I was called up about a job I'd recently applied for. I was overly excited to tell them I'd be there on Monday. Then I remembered I canceled my car insurance due to financial difficulties. I have no way of getting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 406

You deserved it 8 392

Today, my younger sister, who lives at home and worked 1 day a week at the gym, got her unemployment card. I work at a hospital, on the frontlines, with COVID-19 patients. I don't get hazard pay. She now makes more than me in a week by sitting at home watching Netflix, while I risk my life every day to help people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 210

Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 096

You deserved it 3 448