Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, my friends and I were going to do an ugly sweater photo shoot. When we met up, one of them was wearing a sweater I gave on her birthday. FML
Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML
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Top comments
slushpup9696 12
Gotta compliment the technique, nobody ever expects the "ugly sweater mugging".
fancyclown 9
Hey man, when grandma makes you a sweater, you wear that shit.
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Comments (131)
bizarre_ftw 22
Frickin' BRILLIANT move on the robber's end!! Sorry about your money, etc... But you've gotta admit, if you had to be robbed At Least it was done interestingly! (hope you didn't loose anything important)
ImSoEffedUp 10
At least you'll know him if u ever see that ugly ass sweater again.....
GreenDancingBear 7
maybe he was trying to get money for a new sweater...
DaneTrain9311 7
Must've been a sweater Bill Cosby would've been proud of
J9ssica 13
I'm assuming that after it had happened you called the "fashion police"?
janneke730 1
smart guy
StromyG2 10
Did you at least get a good look at his shoes?
iLIKEbananas3 0
haha that will help
ELITEPUNK95 0
U fell for it!!!!!
cetlawizard 15
I've always known those sweaters were for pure evil!
JakeS93 0
"Hello? It's for you! Bill Cosby wants his sweater!"