Today, I was once again called a "selfish bitch" because I don't want kids, even though I can't provide for them mentally, emotionally, physically or financially. FML
Sady_Ct tells us more.
Hey guys, OP here... Wow! My first FML posted. To explain the situation, I was talking with my mum about how I'm unable to have kids due to physical issues with my body, my spine etc, all of which contribute to my financial and mental/emotional state. When some psycho storms up to me in the food court and screamed at me. What I actually do is help build the education funds for my nieces for when they grow up. Thanks for the support for everyone who understands... I get it on a weekly basis from everyone, including my partners family, and really gets under the skin. My father told me on his birthday at the start of the month that if I'm not pregnant by the end of the year he doesn't want to see me any more.. It's hard and it hurts, but i would never put a child of mine through what I went through. Thanks again for all your support! ^_^
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Top comments
GhostFox 34
Yes, because refusing to put kids in a position that is detrimental to their mental, emotional, and physical health is such a selfish thing. Or refusing to add more kids to the already overpopulated planetary population. You aren't selfish, and they're idiots.
Welshite 40
It's no one's business if you don't want to have children, and your father is a callous idiot for giving you that ultimatum. Besides, you're doing a noble act by placing funds for your nieces' futures. Keep doing what you're doing, OP. Don't let people try to shame you into something you'll regret.
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Comments (132)
techioots 9
there is a chilsfree sub Reddit I think you will enjoy /r /childfree
Accurate_Vision 31
I'm a guy and I don't want kids and I get harassed because of that fairly often. Probably not as bad as women do though, like yourself OP. My mother heckles me for not giving her grandchildren, but I have a brother and a sister who can do that. Admittedly, my reasons for not wanting kids are different. I don't want to give up my free time and money for a kid and I also don't want to contribute to the overpopulation of our planet. Plus I'm going for neurosurgery which won't leave me much time for a kid, even if I wanted one. I've lost a few girlfriends because of the fact I don't want one, including the love of my life :( but a kid is a big decision and there's no compromising with one. You can't only have one person take care of it or have one instead of two. Anyways OP, as my great-grandmother said a lot, do your own thing and make your own decisions or else you'll never have a happy life. You're not the only one in the boat :)
BabyCakes818 16
What about adoption?
acerredrum 23
I guess you just decided to ignore where she stated financially, emotionally, and mentally huh?
Sady_Ct 38
Thanks #85, I will admit that some of the reasons I don't want kids is because it would change my lifestyle a lot... 4x4 driving, camping, travel, working on cars and training horses... Hard to do with kids! I don't have time with everything going on, and my partner lost the only other girl he ever loved because she wanted kids and he didn't. Kids are certainly not for every one and it can be EXTREMLY depressing being constantly pushed over it by society in general. Good on you for sticking to it and good luck with your career! I hope you are as successful as you want to be. Good luck and best wishes!
Accurate_Vision 31
Thanks! Best of wishes to you, too :)
sturschaedel 27
The only thing of that list I haven't given up for the kids is camping. We do that together.
Sady_Ct 38
Why would I adopt when I couldn't offer a biological child the time, money and input it needs to be healthy?
Goblin182 27
When I was younger I always said I didn't want kids. (I them I had them and love them. But that's beside the point) When I would say that I didn't want kids most people got really offended. I never understood why me, or anyone else not wanting kids is reason for someone else to be offended. OP, if you don't want kids, and reasons do not matter, that is your right.
numbyhi 7
The unreasonable gender expectations in society are utter bullshit and piss me right the f*ck off. Stay strong and try to ignore putdowns inspired by generations of oppression. <3
caryl101698 11
It's the most unselfish thing to realize kids aren't for you. Having kids for any other reason is selfish.
Morigyn 9
I have very serious mental and physical issues that totally justify not wanting kids. But I shouldn't have to justify it, nor should anyone else. You don't want kids? That's your decision, nobody has the right to be angry with you over that. If your father is serious about his ultimatum, then accept it. He doesn't sound like someone you need in your life anyway.
writerchic85 26
No one says these kind of things to men who don't want children
Zombeh360 2
You should meet my ex. After nearly 6 years of telling her I didn't want kids, she finally realized I was serious and we split. The best thing I heard was "No man wants kids, it's just something you do." So glad I got out of that, but I did waste a lot of time there.