Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML
Today, I made popcorn shrimp. My dog was being a whiner so I gave her one of the shrimp. I guess she didn't like it because she hopped right back up and spat it out on my plate. FML
Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
your_face 15
You're too young/immature for a girlfriend. YDI. If you're that desperate to please her mom, just choke down the food, and ask for drink refills to wash it down.
Glam_fml 0
Just deny, deny, deny if they ask you about it. They can't pin it on you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
sublime93 0
seems like every other day there's a plethora of diarrhea related fml's
annaofwisconsin 0
What are you? Nine?
rachaelberri 0
suck it up and just eat it, its not poison i've had to eat stuff that made me want to barf all the time. its part of that whole "manners" deal
deliapearl 0
I hope you cleaned that shit up.
damnthatsuck 0
WAIT OP IS FROM CHINA!!! they dont have dogs there....they eat them lol
shnibz101 0
THAT IS A ******* AWSOME DOG!
BvR 0
That sounds like something my immature ex would do. Just be honest you jerk
ilikequarters 0
NOT IMMEDIATELY!
cyurihsung 0
I don't see how this is a YDI. What if he REALLY didn't like cauliflower, enough to be unable to pretend to like it? (gagging, sour face, etc.) It seems like he was just trying to be nice and not disappoint the mom.
HLJW1989 0
Come on, either suck it up and eat the food even though you don't like it, or just politely refuse it to begin with.