Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML
Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML
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Top comments
cuppycakeslove 20
More like **** that poor birds life.
mikailanicole98 11
I could just see it now, "Today, a human tried to help me recover from a broken wing, but the idiot walked straight into a door with me still in its hands, breaking my other wing. FML"
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Comments (88)
LissaMccracken 23
Awh, that made me sad for the poor little bird :( It's not like you did it on purpose though, don't feel too bad..
redmnky21 8
by touching him you made it impossible for him to rejoin his flock anyways. mothers will abandon babies touched by humans because of the scent.
44LynnLynn 23
He didn't say it was a baby. For all we know it could be a full grown bird. Also, not all birds live in flocks.
cuppycakeslove 20
Also, birds abandoning their babies after a human has touched it is a myth.
ottokat 15
Yeah, it's complete BS. I once found a baby robin that had fallen out of its nest in a storm, and after having nursed it through the night I put it outside the next morning. It started to chirp and within five seconds, its mother found it. I must have touched that bird 1000 times in the process of caring for it.
hcollins1 18
We're just told that little fib by our parents so we don't catch any potential diseases that the bird may be carrying.
Treveyon56 14
17 birds don't do that, only animals I know of that do are cats and dogs depending of the mother's personality.
flickasarah 3
Birds have no sense of smell, it's something our parents told us so we didnt bring any new lets home
raddybear 11
I hope you just ended up killing it taking it out of its pain
ottokat 15
You are joking, right? Broken wings are very common in birds, and they heal quickly and usually seamlessly. There is no need to kill this bird.
Fsvb 32
If only the world was so perfect. I once knew a parakeet with a wing that was either broken or had a tumor. The vet didn't even want to bother searching it out because she said there wasn't anything that could be done. She told me they usually don't do anything for smaller birds, but maybe she was just a bad vet..
azwethinkweiz87 11
Aww. At least you were trying to do a good deed when it happened though!? Poor little guy!
ILoveMyArm 15
This reminds me of a Windex commercial.
Treveyon56 14
It would be ironic if OP had just cleaned the glass with Windex.
ImAFaker 29
It would also be ironic if OP tried to help fix the broken wing but broke the other one by accident. Wait a second...
OptimusVader 23
I'm just thankful you even attempted to help. Thank you for having a heart!
Shadowbay 18
Poor little guy :/ I'm not sure there's any coming back from that... but I hope you tried taking him to a vet though it's probably better to put him out of his misery.
JacobH34 10
Hahaha hitting a door is probably how he broke his first wing too! As long as you fix him up no harm done I suppose!
perdix 31
Well, you did balance him out. A bird with one good wing just flies around in tight circles and that's just embarrassing.
Wizardo 34
Exactly, a bird that hops and walks in poorly judged oval shapes is much less socially awkward...
Sora_McKain 36
@55 ^^ That was just full of win!
olpally 33
At least your heart was in the right place. That's just bad luck op.