Kids: Today, I tried to give a four-year-old I was working with a high-five... - FML

By band13geek - 15/12/2016 01:59

Today, I tried to give a four-year-old I was working with a high-five for finishing his math worksheet. He high-fived me with the pencil. And I don't mean the eraser side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 234

You deserved it 634

band13geek tells us more.

band13geek 16

Friday 23 December 2016 20:48

OP here. The child was holding the pencil when I asked for the high five and *might* have not realized what he had done, but he isn't one to follow the rules, which I enforce more so than some of the other teachers, so he could have done it on purpose. I'm not really sure. All I know is that it hurt! But at least he should know now to not stab people.

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

band13geek 16

Friday 23 December 2016 20:40

He was just holding it when I asked for the high five. I don't know if he forgot to put it down or if he just felt like stabbing me (which would make sense since he doesn't like me...)

TwinkleToes7 15

Tuesday 20 December 2016 5:06

This is a great pointer to avoid in the future!

Comments

RagingDeathFTW 1

Saturday 8 April 2017 0:42

I sat on a pencil once in second grade, in the middle of class. This is a true story

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Grandparents Kids Parents Love Divorce Weird Cancer Scams Tinder Miscellaneous Relatable Cooking Annoying Money Embarrassing Birthday Awkward Shoes Clothes Food Job interview Work Teenagers Intimacy Sex Health Medication Ironic Painful Bikes

The Top

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 826

You deserved it 1 859

Today, I'm incredibly supportive and positively motivating my sister-in-law, bringing her out of post-partum depression. Why? Because her husband (my brother-in-law) forced me into depression to the point of multiple life ending attempts when I was in a similar situation. I'm good to all, except myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 68

Random

Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet. It’s just a pity that Google is banned in China. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 222

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 494

You deserved it 3 704

Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 401

You deserved it 3 412

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 148

Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 680

Today, my wife agreed to live out my cuckold fantasy. I was watching her bang some guy from Tinder when my stomach suddenly turned and I realized I wasn't enjoying this as much as I hoped. I asked them to stop. They laughed and continued. I'm puking in the toilet and I can still hear them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 824