By _RaeRae - 18/11/2014 09:26 - United States - Argyle
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_RaeRae tells us more.
I didn't have enough room to elaborate on my post. it was spur of the moment on my part too. boyfriend is in the oilfield and they needed him up and moved ASAP. so she new a week after I knew. I just needed a week for it to set in.
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Just think about it this way: you lived with your boyfriend for over a year and you must have discussed the moving thoroughly, probably for more than two weeks. You lived with your mother for, how long? 18, 20, 25 years? And she's the one who's noticed two weeks prior about you leaving the country. Quite a dick move on your part, I would say.
They're changing states, not countries.
Well, her mom can't be the first one to know before the boyfriend. That would end up in big time confusion on his part.
#18 Considering how huge the United States is they could very well be moving a distance that is comparable to moving countries.
Considering how small the states are over there #33, it might not be very far at all though.
Are you crazy? Some states are bigger than some countries.
could be that one got a job or was transferred though, I've moved to the other side of the country in 4 days because of being transferred with work. you never know
I've had very similar circumstances where I moved across the country in 10 days. OP didn't specify they had been planning this for months and had decided to wait until 2 weeks out to tell her mom. Chances are she told her relatively soon after she knew. There's nothing to indicate otherwise.
Did she at least pay for her lunch?
Dine 'n' Dash.
the ol' silent treatment
you should call her so you can understand how she feels about the move
cryssycakesx3
22
I think it is very clear how she feels..
Now that's tricky. People regret how they act sometimes so you should never take a first reaction to heart. I think the sides to both stories argument applies here.
Jeez, she's treating it like you broke up with her to be with him. Give her a day or two to come to terms with it and call her
Wow so disrespectful 0.o
I'm sorry OP but the fact that you're giving her a short notice is really kind of jerky on your part. Whatever your relationship with your mother she still deserves to learn about your moving out of state much sooner and I personally would have done it at home unless you were afraid of an outburst. We don't know all the circumstances leading her to walk out or your decision to leave, and I wish we had more information, but I'm going to side with your mother until proven otherwise.
I found out a week ago. boyfriend is a manager on the water transfer side of the oilfield and they need him elsewhere
Well then, you're really fracked.
I understand how you feel, OP. I'm moving in with my boyfriend out of state by the beginning of next month. I told my mom two months ago, and we've had fights about it almost every day. I have yet to tell my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and little cousins. (I already told other family.) The reason I didn't yet is because I want to do it in person because they live in two different states. The only time we can all get together is during Thanksgiving. I was teased that I'll ruin everyone's Thanksgiving with the news of my moving, but I believe it's best to do it in person. I just hope it doesn't break out in everyone fighting.
I didn't have enough room to elaborate on my post. it was spur of the moment on my part too. boyfriend is in the oilfield and they needed him up and moved ASAP. so she new a week after I knew. I just needed a week for it to set in.
usnwife
18
That changes my opinion a little! We're a military family, so I understand short notice. Doesnt make it any easier for your mom to process though... Especially if you havent discussed marriage with him your mom may be worried about you leaving to follow a boy you have no commitment with. Hopefully it all works out!!
I don't get why people are upset about this so much. You've been living with you boyfriend for a year, out of your parent's home for awhile (I'm assuming). It's good you sat down with your mom and talked to her. How she left though.... I would wait a few days before talking with her calmly at home. Maybe she just needs time because she won't see you as much as you see each other. It's just a fact of life that the child will move out of the house to wherever they need to for their own life. I hope everything works out for you and your boyfriend.
Queen_of_Night
20
Well, you did better than me OP! When my boyfriend and I moved in together we moved to the other side of the country. LOL. He got a job he couldn't refuse and it was either go or end it. My mom took it better than yours! Good luck with your move!
Do you have to give up your job or studies to follow your boyfriend? Could it be a reason why she got upset ? You should try to talk to her again once she is less shoked...
I can understand her reaction a bit. You two seem close and she doesn't want to "lose her baby". Give her a little time, she'll come around
elizacandle
29
how long has it been since you and your bf decided? it seems like such a short notice.
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Maybe she wanted more than 2 weeks notice that you were leaving.
That changes my opinion a little! We're a military family, so I understand short notice. Doesnt make it any easier for your mom to process though... Especially if you havent discussed marriage with him your mom may be worried about you leaving to follow a boy you have no commitment with. Hopefully it all works out!!