Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML
Today, I set my relationship status to taken with a fake profile just for kicks. A literal minute later, an acquaintance commented proof that I stole the image from Google. I can't tell if I was busted so quickly because I'm a bad liar, or that people find it impossible to believe that I could get a girlfriend. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
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Top comments
NickaPLZ 26
I applaud you. I once deleted my own facebook and I haven't broke down and reactivated it yet. Again, props to you for sticking to your guns. As for the girl, there will be less crazy ones out there. Keep searching.
boxbrandon11 20
Accuse her of being stupid
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Comments (119)
Wizzlbang 10
lol bar chicks
pattayarick 8
So, you should be grateful. Sounds like psychobitch to me
Zen_Mei 17
She's certainly not the brightest
Ksweety_fml 27
WTF..
Dan85 6
Maybe send her a link to this FML thread.
rivaraven 35
I use facebook mainly because of school stuff, and I have a fake last name there. As in most of the social network profiles. I don't really feel comfortable sharing all of my info. And then I can't be found for all of them dumbasses I don't want to be found for.
israelnotjacob 20
lol that's why you don't try to meet people (especially for romance) at bars. You'll find the biggest idiots on the planet. But yeah if she's going to assume you're fake based off that logic she clearly doesn't have many brain cells left. Just be happy you didn't actually get involved with her before finding out how dumb she truly is.
vbmg152 19
Are you fake??
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Can you say blessing in disguise?
ultra_notorious 26
Know how it is, been off of FAKEBOOK for a solid 9 months with no desire to return.