Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML
Today, I set my relationship status to taken with a fake profile just for kicks. A literal minute later, an acquaintance commented proof that I stole the image from Google. I can't tell if I was busted so quickly because I'm a bad liar, or that people find it impossible to believe that I could get a girlfriend. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
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Top comments
NickaPLZ 26
I applaud you. I once deleted my own facebook and I haven't broke down and reactivated it yet. Again, props to you for sticking to your guns. As for the girl, there will be less crazy ones out there. Keep searching.
boxbrandon11 20
Accuse her of being stupid
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Comments (119)
ant1ion 12
Seriously though Facebook is the only way to show your identity nowadays didn't you know?
Cintia07 7
"But Officer, I don't know what a identification card is? But here, *hands phone* that's a picture of me on FB" :)
ant1ion 12
Comment deleted
LordoftheOcelots 10
Should have told her, "Bitch I'm on Tumblr,"
Wizardo 34
This is the extent to which social media has dominated society, people are discombobulated without it. I deleted my FB 4 years ago, best decision ever.
slacker_69 6
Wow do you even have any of those if not FYL
NickaPLZ 26
You must be that bitch's brother.
newburton13 26
Never had a facebook or any of that crap in my life. My first job interview might go like that guy who was accused of being a criminal over not having one.
rg350dx 29
What did this girl do before Facebook, twitter or instagram existed to verify someone was real?? Demand a birth certificate and social? What a nutbag..
Faff 20
What do you mean 'before Facebook'?
rg350dx 29
Anytime before '04. But then again before Facebook no one could figure out any way to be social with another human being.
Trisha_aus 15
It's the opposite #47. People without fb are more social and go out and spend time with their friends and family.
rg350dx 29
It's difficult to convey sarcasm through text but don't worry, that comment was full of it :)
monpetitchevelle 4
Nice to see there is still some non social networking people out there! It's probably for the best. She doesn't exactly seem like the brightest bulb in the tanning bed if that was her reaction
limitedition 25
She showed her true colors quickly. You dodged a bullet there!
TheSofaKing 7
Wow, I must be "fake" also, I do not use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Linkedin. Sounds like this girl is a little psyco.
pheebs314 17
I find this kind of funny because a few weeks back I had forgotten my driver license and I managed to talk a guy who needed id into accepting my fb page. Then again, I found that kind of sad, if not convenient.