App
FML for mobile
Free
Open in app
FMyLife

search

Categories

All
Random
Spicy
Nearly FMLs
The Top
FML - The Follow-Up

FML

Submit Moderate

Account

Log in
FMyLife FMyLife
Submit your FML Moderate the FMLs
Log in
All Random Spicy Random Spicy The Top FML - The Follow-Up Nearly FMLs
search
​

Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    By franska - 03/11/2015 00:14 - Suède - Lund

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 926
    You deserved it 61
    Share  
    May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
    When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…
    Previous FML Next FML

    Top comments

    NewUsername 26
    Thursday 29 September 2016 10:47

    He was only slightly drunk? Wow, what happens when he gets really drunk?

    83 1
    LyricaSilvan 29
    Thursday 29 September 2016 10:42

    The mental image of that is strangely hilarious.

    79 1

    Comments

    MrsPanda 14
    Friday 30 September 2016 2:00

    Hahaha brilliant!

    0 1
    justarandomalien 7
    Friday 30 September 2016 4:05

    only slightly?

    0 1
    Exaspera 54
    Friday 30 September 2016 4:16

    Maybe that's all he knows what to do with it?

    1 0
    cakester123 11
    Friday 30 September 2016 4:27

    thats sanitary

    0 0
    SamanthaB243 22
    Friday 30 September 2016 4:49

    Slightly...?

    1 1
    howdmynosego 12
    Friday 30 September 2016 6:40

    But if he was drunk, it should be too soft

    1 1
    species4872 19
    Friday 30 September 2016 7:04

    Old wives tale.

    0 1
    Antivist 13
    Friday 30 September 2016 12:41

    Did his dick work for the entry code ? (X

    0 1
    mattyiscool123 26
    Sunday 2 October 2016 5:12

    Did it work?

    0 0
    xxUnknown 19
    Sunday 9 October 2016 5:30

    Only slightly?

    0 0
    philick 4
    Friday 11 November 2016 17:53

    love it thats a classic

    0 0
    • 1
    • 2
    • 3
    • 4
    FML on Facebook

    Keywords

    Love Money Miscellaneous Birthday Cute Relatable Sextoys Intimacy NSFW Sex Work Bodyshaming Kids Parenting Food Fish Friends Social Media Divorce Stressed out Dance Awkward Break-ups Animals Cops Dogs Teenagers Swimming pool Health Poopoo peepee
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 14 811
    You deserved it 37 946
    Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 576
    You deserved it 385
    Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 41 169
    You deserved it 7 075
    Today, my husband of twenty years thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t fart in front of him. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 728
    You deserved it 276
    Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 365
    You deserved it 13 661
    Today, I showed up for a Tinder date. I sat there for 45 minutes, waiting. Finally, I messaged her to ask if she was coming. She replied, “Oh no, I wasn’t serious. You just seemed polite. I didn’t think you’d actually show up.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 535
    You deserved it 65
    Download on the App Store Our app is now available on Google Play

    Even more FMLs

    • Nearly FMLs
    • Top FML
    • Random FMLs
    • Moderation
    • FML - The Follow-Up

    Useful links

    • FAQ
    • Contact us
    • Terms of use
    • The list of badges to find

    FML around the world

    • Français
    • English
    • Español
    • Deutsch
    • Italiano

    © VDM SAS, All rights reserved

    ​