Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I was in the middle of walking home when I saw an old woman trying to get away from what looked like a mugger. I go over and try to help her out and get the man off of her, which was successful. Turns out she was having a heart attack and the man was a doctor. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
This is quite possibly the most twisted FML I've seen for a long time.
wildsweetchild 19
There are too many crazy people around, but props to you for trying to help.
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Comments (60)
Zebediabolical 45
She'd just fainted. You could have easily outrun her!
asb818 14
Re-read the FML. The OP didn't know she was a danger before trying to help. It was only after the OP approached that the person came to and put the OP in danger..
Zebediabolical 45
Basic rule of thumb. Shown a knife, run for your life. Easy peasy. The fact that she had fainted meant she wasn't at 100% for at least a few minutes afterwards. Like I said, outrun her.
asb818 14
I'm pretty sure if that was a possibility she would have. I don't know too many people that say, "hey, look, a knife. I think I'll stick around and see if I'll be in danger or not."
DogsPaw 16
Turn, run, knife in back. When your life is threatened you sometimes stop thinking logically.
fdupagain 11
Did she really faint, or a ruse? We may never know. Until the 6 o'clock news.
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm going to have to agree with 12's part of outrunning the person. She was on the ground... By the time she gets up you'd be 50ft ahead... Then again I also take into consideration that sometimes you don't think logically in those situations.
SpottedZebra42 14
68 - I'm sure the woman got up before pulling a knife on OP. Also, if you knew anything about these types of situations, you'd know that the safest option is always to do what the crazies want and let the police do their job.
perdix 31
No wonder she carries a knife! When she faints, strangers try to grab her. I'd be unstable, too, if every time I tried to take a little nap in public, some apparent do-gooder tries to "help" when all they really are doing is going for my wallet and a cheap feel -- usually both!
RedPillSucks 33
Yeah. I only go for the expensive feel. Next time, carry more cash in your wallet.
perdix 31
#21, once I didn't have my wallet and the mugger got frustrated, so I said, "Keep looking, I'll write you a check later!" ;)
TrueTriage 16
After you said "Keep looking" he thought that meant, "Full body cavity search"
perdix 31
#64, if the mugger is female and that goes well, I might just add an extra zero to that check.
kumonsucks 7
SCREAM BOY SCREAM!! *double entendre*
PatRme 9
Why would you insist in trying to help her for an entire hour? Just leave her alone and forget about her.
gracehi 33
Reread the FML, please.
Mifflicious 18
One hell of a nice person you are, 15..
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
please, don't comment if you don't know what you're talking about. it angers the unstable fml'ers and you could be burned at the stake. now **** off outta here and don't come back.
DogsPaw 16
Da fuq do you mean by unstable? *twitches*
andyyroxx 20
Yeah. There ain't such a thing. *groans and eats baby brother*
gracehi 33
Time to get a gun That's what I've been thinking I could afford one If I did just a little less drinking
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
drinking right now are we? ;)
gracehi 33
I thought someone might ask me that. It's a Miranda Lambert song about someone who considers buying a gun when her neighbors' car gets stolen out of their drive, and when a government official tells her they plan on using eminent domain to take her house away from her. Since OP was threatened with a knife, I thought that she too might be considering buying a gun.
CamcAmIaM 10
What an American solution...
1215116a 14
What a Canadian thing to say...
gracehi 33
72, Hells yeah! We rockin' the 2nd amendment up in this joint.
AllMyNope 10
The second amendment gives you the right to own guns. Not be stupid with them.
ICastillo 25
Puts the lotion on the skin or you gets stabbed...
TheDrifter 24
Semi-conscious woman with a knife and serious mental issues? Sounds like one hell of a party. Why'd nobody invite me?
andyyroxx 20
I'll invite you! But first things first. a) Do you enjoy house music? b) If yes, GET THE **** OVER HERE! If no, Knife Party doesn't want you either.
TheDrifter 24
I've heard the saying "some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them" but I didn't know people took that sentiment to heart.
limitedition 25
How could have you known? Your heart was in the right place even tho it ended up turning into a hostage situation ....
dan_in_wi 12
she wanted to play a game... called, burny burny cut cut...