Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I was in the middle of walking home when I saw an old woman trying to get away from what looked like a mugger. I go over and try to help her out and get the man off of her, which was successful. Turns out she was having a heart attack and the man was a doctor. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
This is quite possibly the most twisted FML I've seen for a long time.
wildsweetchild 19
There are too many crazy people around, but props to you for trying to help.
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Comments (60)
DanielleinDC 34
Wow, I'm sorry that happened, OP. I'm glad you came through unharmed. Hopefully this woman can get some psychiatric help.
poccocurantes 7
I was going to post something about the zombie apocalypse but I read OPs user name again. I originally read it as girlofthedead.
SuperDanielNL 23
If she didn't have you in a chokehold, I'd say you could have ran. But then again I don't know the situation. At least you got out alive though.
SuperDanielNL 23
Well you could try to talk her out of doing anything and make her come with you peacefully. But then again a little hollywood action gunslinging brightens up any dull day on the streets.
Werken247 14
@29 And that friend is why you are not a cop... because you're a ******* moron.
Nitr0_fml 3
Wouldn't it take all of 3 seconds to taze her? How on earth was this allowed to go on for an hour?
PrincessPesa 20
Why, because she's a woman? Because she's unstable? I mean if the last one's literal, just push her over, right? Mental instability has nothing to do with a person's physical strength. She was brandishing a weapon. At that point OP was basically her hostage!
Jennidoll 2
I agree they should've tased the bitch. and to the girl above me, I'm pretty sure he would've said to tase the person even if they were a guy...
SayAlexRules 5
OMG that's ******* messed up!
bubble_burst 16
zara hat ke zara bah ke ye hai bambai meri jaan...
ComfortKeeper085 3
All I can think is that this sounds like it could be the beginning of an episode of Flashpoint. I hope you're ok OP, FYL.
douceman 2
I call bullshit!