No thanks

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

Why mother, why?

Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML

Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

Real Housewives coded

Today, just because my mum's friend's son got better grades than me, she's now treating me like shit. You know what lady? His mom is way better than you too! She didn't attempt to kill her child half a dozen times, and you don't see me complaining about it all day long. FML

Today, I found out that my mom uses my Facebook account more than I do. FML

Starved

Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML

Protip

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

Stay mad

Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML

Devious

Today, my manipulative mother got upset and started ignoring me. All because she lectured me about doing too much for other people, then proceeded to tell me all her problems, and I actually took her advice. Other people's problems are not my responsibility to fix. FML

 Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML