Today, I realized my mixtape was truly fire when I accidentally...

By mog907 - United States

Today, I realized my mixtape was truly fire when I accidentally ran it through the washer and dryer. FML

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On the ball

Horsing around

Give me my drugs!

By Poppleton99 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I was hanging out with a friend out of state. He had some friends with him and we were all having a great time, until they found out I live in Utah. They instantly assumed I was Mormon and started to act weird around me. This is a frequent occurrence. FML

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By Still Dry - United States

Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, it's been five days since I started my new job in a new town, just signed a lease on my new apartment too. Now I find out the company's closing down, and since I'm still on probation, I'm told I'm not entitled to any kind of severance. FML

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By fmlsrsly - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML

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By awkwardology - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

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43785

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By anonymous_0505 - Russian Federation

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

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By Anonymous - 8/1/2021 11:01

Odd one out

Today, I went to the mall with two friends. A modelling scout approached us and asked both of my friends if they were interested in modelling. When the scout finally noticed me, she asked if I was their mom. We're all the same age. FML

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By Xerfox - Germany - Neckarsulm

Today, I flew to Germany to meet up with a girl that I met in America 5 months ago and fell in love with. We've been talking every day for 5 months straight. I get here just for her to tell me that she likes me "like a brother". FML

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14260

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By uglyallover - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

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31147

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By R_Horsefeet - Netherlands

Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML

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By charlotte9338 - Canada

Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML

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By looking4newvenue - United States

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

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By Ben - United States - Louisville

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

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By yuck - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML

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2537

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220

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By Betrayed - United States

Today, I attended my college roommate's wedding. We were best friends for 4 years, but have only talked occasionally since graduation. I was looking forward to meeting her new husband, having heard so much about him during our conversations. Turns out she forgot to mention he's my ex. FML

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30036

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By tired of my job - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML

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23977

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By Anonymous

Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Warren

Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML

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4184

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Godalming

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

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By sparkrok - United States - Puyallup

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

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By alcomom - 1/7/2020 02:02

Juicer

Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML

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1159

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By ohnolunch - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

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By SlappyMcGee - United States

Today, I was talking to a hot girl at the bus stop. She seemed interested in me and I was feeling a connection forming. When the bus came, I offered to let her board first, but she said it "wasn't her bus" and said goodbye. Later, I realized I'd spent 20 minutes making moves on a prostitute. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

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By Snowin2007 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

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31087

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By ToInsecure4me - United States

Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML

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By Stevie - United States - Southfield

Today, I kindly explained to a client that she had calculated her CD interest wrong. She kindly responded that, as a nurse, she would never give me medical treatment if I was involved in a car accident. FML

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By 6u174r_d00d - United States

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

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By Jeff - United States

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

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By barbie - United States

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

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By Charlotte - United States

Today, I arrived at work at 8, and business was abnormally slow, but we assumed it would pick up. Few hours later, we had not had a single customer. As I walk out of the restaurant, I realize the open sign has been off all day. FML

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By katie_sadface - Canada

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

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30188

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

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By Quiteannoyed - Finland - M?nts?l

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

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By Deety

Today, my psychologist broke up with me, professionally. It's alright though, she told me it's her, not me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

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34218

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By hannahk267 - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02

Denied

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

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Top comments

By kaymarfs | 15

#6665239 - Thursday 4 August 2016 19:50

OP didn't even take the pic. It was a caption contest from FML.

By Tayleena97 | 11

#6665274 - Thursday 4 August 2016 20:33

It's lit

COMMENTS

By fitnessgram | 19

#6665075 - Thursday 4 August 2016 15:13

*facepalm*

By SherbetGlitter | 26

#6665092 - Thursday 4 August 2016 15:33

Wasn't expecting one of the not-top-comments to win, I didn't even see this looking through the comments! Nice choice though :P

By Brightbulb | 39

#6665124 - Thursday 4 August 2016 16:07

I did this when I was 12, I laughed...... My parents not so much. Gas dryers are dangerous stuff. Love the caption!!

By flopstar | 21

#6665184 - Thursday 4 August 2016 17:41

Let's take a moment to appreciate how op rather take a picture of the fire rather than put the fire out, you've got your priorities straight op

kaymarfs | 15

#6665239 - Thursday 4 August 2016 19:50

OP didn't even take the pic. It was a caption contest from FML.

By Tayleena97 | 11

#6665274 - Thursday 4 August 2016 20:33

It's lit

By okkkk_fml | 4

#6665292 - Thursday 4 August 2016 20:51

Good job , take pic then put out fire. lol jk ( not really)

By camoMS | 17

#6665314 - Thursday 4 August 2016 21:38

I work on appliances for a living and this picture terrifies me.

By daidax_238 | 26

#6665384 - Friday 5 August 2016 0:56

*dryer is literally on fire*
Me: ah yes. I should take a picture

By laxdude101 | 13

#6665482 - Friday 5 August 2016 5:09

idk, I'm kinda disappointed in this one. the whole mixtape thing is dead by now... never found it funny either...

but hey, to each his own

By SwagGod420 | 2

#6665498 - Friday 5 August 2016 5:31

you literaily copied mine but whatever