Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
Today, my husband put up one of those sticky fly trap strips behind our toilet. I was tired and didn't notice it in the dark bathroom. I leaned back and it stuck in my hair. I didn't notice the dead flies in my hair until I went to buy lunch. FML
Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, a fly landed on my ear. The suddenly loud buzzing noise scared me so badly that out of instinct, I punched the side of my head so hard that I actually made myself really dizzy. The worst part? I didn't kill the fly. Jackass fly: 1, Dumbass me: 0. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
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Top comments
uwantacookie 5
Smart kid.
perdix 31
Did you manage to peel yourself and survive? If so, **** sapiens: 1 Musca domestica: 0 USA! USA! USA!
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Comments (59)
vladimirnabokov 15
That's why I never kill spiders in my house. I put them right back into my basement unless I notice something off about their color - no black widows so far, lol. My house has been pretty much fly free and generally bug free. The spiders in my house keep to themselves and in return I get a bugless house. I'd rather have to clean up spider webs in my laundry room than have flies and ants crawling around. I don't think those fly traps work. Just a gimmick. But I like spiders so..... There's a natural and free solution to my bug problem. I do get lots of spiders when it rains though. They all hang out in my crawl space. Spider party B)
seriouscat 11
Why do you have so many flies in your house?
abbiek2 11
Guessing tho who said the op is and idiot never had one, always got my hair stuck in it:(
CoDmastaThe1st 7
Karma's a bitch ain't she.
SaveCowEatCarrot 14
Hopefully there weren't any flies already stuck there... Sounds like a sticky situation, OP.
kikimonole 13
Don't feel bad, OP. I've walked into them before, too. It's because you aren't used to it being there, not because you are stupid! :3
Ceejay1 13
Stupid is ,Stupid does .
Infinity1337 11
You should be more concerned as to why there are so many flies.. Check all closets for bodies!
Qwermy 16
So I hear you're feeling pretty fly...
RoderickShelton 4
This made my day. Lol