Health: Today, I picked up a broken piece of seemingly velvety cactus... - FML

By OhHeySlogan - 06/11/2011 18:24 - United States

Today, I picked up a broken piece of seemingly velvety cactus to show my mom. I now have a million microscopic, painful splinters in my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 963

You deserved it 40 949

OhHeySlogan tells us more.

OhHeySlogan 4

Monday 7 November 2011 5:31

I'm the OP. That's what I did and it worked. Haha I'm still finding a few stragglers though.

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

fortehlulocaust 6

Monday 7 November 2011 1:03

Life can be a prick.

AngryBeaver32 8

Monday 7 November 2011 1:18

Put a thick layer of glue on your fingers and let it dry completely. After it's good and dry, peel the glue off and it should pull at least some of the splinters out. Also, call your doctor if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours.

Comments

springsprout 3

Wednesday 20 November 2013 22:11

I've done this before so i feel your pain.

Lelliott 7

Tuesday 9 December 2014 21:26

It's a cactus, why didn't you think "all cacti have sharp spines, that's what makes it a cactus."

Suaria 38

Friday 4 March 2016 1:04

I'm wondering why you thought it was a good idea to pick up a cactus. I'm from California and there is no cacti in my area. I at least know that all cacti have splinters.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Money Relatable Kids Smells Work Gross Art Intimacy NSFW Embarrassing Cars Tests Transportation Music Coworkers Health Vacation Airport Miscellaneous Funerals Awkward Furniture Birthday Toys Love Frustration Sex Parents Argument Annoying

The Top

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 667

You deserved it 9 221

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 720

You deserved it 12 541

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 900

You deserved it 3 156

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that my school was "too expensive" and he "couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii; apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 630

You deserved it 3 631

Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 575

You deserved it 4 187

Today, I got real life Mean Girled at school. The class was discussing former jobs and I mentioned that I used to be a stripper before enrolling in nursing school. No one has talked to me since, and I haven’t felt this excluded since I was the weird kid in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 362