By aireeahna - 09/06/2014 02:42 - United States - Cedar Rapids
aireeahna tells us more.
Op here. So to start off I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. The issue never really came up over the years because we were never really around babies, he is really good with children so I just assumed that he was good with babies as well. When it did come up we were at his little brother's graduation party. I was holding a cousins newborn baby and asked him to hold him so that I could go to the bathroom but instead of taking the baby he backed away from me almost stumbling over his own feet because he was in such a hurry to get out of the situation. I asked his mother what his problem was and she just said that he has always been scared to hold babies since his brother was born. I have yet to tell him that we are expecting because our 5 year anniversary is at the end of this month and I wanted to tell him while we're on vacation. The baby is obviously unplanned but I don't regret getting pregnant and I'm sure that my boyfriend will be just as happy as I am with the news. The only other person who knows right now is my best friend who is due in September and she is going to let him practice hold the baby so that he'll be more comfortable but until then I think we'll stick to dolls and toddlers :p
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As someone with agoraphobia, though obviously different, I would like to shed some light. Phobias are not something that can be "taught" out of. Ridding someone of a phobia takes years. By the time the baby is born, he will still be petrified; by the time he is "over" his phobia, it won't matter anymore. I apologize for my bluntness. I just get a little offended over the matter.
A lot of men think babies are extremely delicate and worry they may hold them too tightly, or even accidentally dropping them. It's not an irrational fear amongst first time fathers. Nothing to worry about, OP. He's definitely going to want to hold his baby when the time comes :) congratulations to you two.
Don't worry OP, I'm sure that once he sees how cute the little ball of chub is he will grow over his fear ^_^ Maybe he just is scared of dropping it or hurting it. I was really scared of that when I started baby sitting. Eventually, I got over it though. And wow! congratulation! A baby :D
I used to be pretty scared of holding a baby too. Until my sister forced me to be in the delivery room when she had her baby. Made me realize two things. 1.) I never want to give birth. 2.) Babies arent that scary after all
Yes, I think once he sees his own child and the miracle of a birth I think he'll want to hold the baby. Lots of men are afraid they'll drop the baby but they all end up holding them and loving them. It's actually extremely difficult to drop a baby, it goes against the natural protective instinct inside of you. Don't worry OP, once he sees his own child I'm sure he'll be fine. Now getting him to change the diapers...that may be a bit harder.