By aireeahna - 09/06/2014 02:42 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I'm 5 weeks pregnant and just found out that my boyfriend has such a phobia of holding babies, that he's going to be the one most in need of a diaper change when I give birth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 840
You deserved it 6 821

aireeahna tells us more.

Op here. So to start off I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. The issue never really came up over the years because we were never really around babies, he is really good with children so I just assumed that he was good with babies as well. When it did come up we were at his little brother's graduation party. I was holding a cousins newborn baby and asked him to hold him so that I could go to the bathroom but instead of taking the baby he backed away from me almost stumbling over his own feet because he was in such a hurry to get out of the situation. I asked his mother what his problem was and she just said that he has always been scared to hold babies since his brother was born. I have yet to tell him that we are expecting because our 5 year anniversary is at the end of this month and I wanted to tell him while we're on vacation. The baby is obviously unplanned but I don't regret getting pregnant and I'm sure that my boyfriend will be just as happy as I am with the news. The only other person who knows right now is my best friend who is due in September and she is going to let him practice hold the baby so that he'll be more comfortable but until then I think we'll stick to dolls and toddlers :p

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markcallanan_ 20

Try to teach him??

Maybe he's scared of dropping it on accident..?


markcallanan_ 20

Try to teach him??

on the contrary,I love babies so much ,eager to hold them whenever they're around me especially for girl baby

Get him to spend time with a friends baby. Nothing beats hands on practice. Ps, congratulations on your pregnancy OP!

@34 …What the actual ****. I'm going to try and give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that this is just an English-as-a-second-language issue, not a hide-yo'-kids issue. You may want to rephrase that.

congrats on the pregnancy. he might be okay once baby is born and gets more comfortable. maybe its other peoples kids that freaks him out? maybe start with a doll and go from there. good luck.

RedPillSucks 31

@41 Until its rephrased to "I love kids, but I could never finish a whole one"

Demig0d6 14

If your boyfriend is afraid of holding babies, why isn't he afraid if holding your ****?

Don't worry. Take to some parenting sessions and he'll definetly learn it. I used to carry my young cousins who were above a year six all the time. But still not comfortable at the idea of holding an infant since I never tried it. They seem so delicate things.

As someone with agoraphobia, though obviously different, I would like to shed some light. Phobias are not something that can be "taught" out of. Ridding someone of a phobia takes years. By the time the baby is born, he will still be petrified; by the time he is "over" his phobia, it won't matter anymore. I apologize for my bluntness. I just get a little offended over the matter.

Why is he afraid of holding a baby?

Maybe he's scared of dropping it on accident..?

Probably not, more like hes scared of squirming things

A lot of men think babies are extremely delicate and worry they may hold them too tightly, or even accidentally dropping them. It's not an irrational fear amongst first time fathers. Nothing to worry about, OP. He's definitely going to want to hold his baby when the time comes :) congratulations to you two.

I have the same fear.. I just can't.

Oh I don't know... maybe because if you drop it it will die!?!

Because it's terrifying...

Because they're badly built and have a self destruct button in plain view on top of their heads. I'm guessing.

It's not just men. I'm terrified of holding babies.

Babies are ******* scary

RedPillSucks 31

He's going to have to step up, OP. My first time was scary as hell. Even the nurse had doubts. But I just pushed through and did it. Don't let him use his fear as a reason to not hold his baby.

elle920 1

So am I. They freak me out

@23 - nah, they bounce. Just make sure you catch it after the first rebound.

U have a picture of u with baby toys... Do u have a baby? How do u cope when u hold the baby?

pwnman 33

It's out of fear of dropping the child. My brother in law's dad has never held a baby, even his own 5 children and 10 grand children.

#23 way to freaking sugar coat it. - slow claps-

Time to pull out the ole' dolly set and get in some practice! He has about 7 months left to conquer it so best get crackin!

Try to reassure him! Child birth is one of the greatest things in life, it should be an experience for both partners :)

Holding babies is pretty scary. I don't like to either. The skulls aren't fully developed and one drop can kill them. Babies are also very weary of everything so they shift around constantly. It's just something he'll have to overcome

Wow. Phobias of holding babies, that's a new one.

That may be new to you, but honestly it's totally rational. Hell, I'm a female and holding babies terrifies me. My biggest fear is that they'll squirm right out of my grip and fall

Schizomaniac 24

If it were totally rational it wouldn't be considered a phobia, now would it?

It wouldn't be considered an irrational* phobia.

RedPillSucks 31

It's also not new at all. In fact, it's very common.

is he by any chance Chandler..?

I love you for that reference

I love you for that reference.

schhichick 14

Could there BE a better comment?

All you need is Morgan Freeman's voice to make you feel like you can do anything!

schhichick 14

Is no one making any more Friends refrences? Are we on a break?

conman531 23

Wouldn't you be afraid to let someone who is afraid to hold a baby hold a baby?

And it's his baby too...

Don't worry OP, I'm sure that once he sees how cute the little ball of chub is he will grow over his fear ^_^ Maybe he just is scared of dropping it or hurting it. I was really scared of that when I started baby sitting. Eventually, I got over it though. And wow! congratulation! A baby :D

Babies aren't cute when newborn. They're pink, wrinkly, and initially are coveted in bits of womb. Even when cleaned they're pretty gross. They don't get chubby and "cute" for a few weeks.

RedPillSucks 31

Yeah. If he doesn't overcome that fear and he attends the birth, you may find him cowering in the corner covered in his own vomit and feces.

you don't "get over" phobias. that's why they're phobias and not fears.

I used to be pretty scared of holding a baby too. Until my sister forced me to be in the delivery room when she had her baby. Made me realize two things. 1.) I never want to give birth. 2.) Babies arent that scary after all

Yes, I think once he sees his own child and the miracle of a birth I think he'll want to hold the baby. Lots of men are afraid they'll drop the baby but they all end up holding them and loving them. It's actually extremely difficult to drop a baby, it goes against the natural protective instinct inside of you. Don't worry OP, once he sees his own child I'm sure he'll be fine. Now getting him to change the diapers...that may be a bit harder.