Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I hate the legal profession with a passion, as I just walked out of court where a lawyer, spouting incomprehensible bollocks in Latin, convinced a judge to let a developer bulldoze a children's playground and part of a forest, to build a second multi-storey car park for the shopping centre across the street. FML
Today, I got so anxious while trying to fight the ticket I got earlier this month that I passed out in front of the judge. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A lot of people hate your job.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well... Some people are beyond saving. Sucks for you!
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Comments (41)
BiffityBiff 10
Wow. Im sorry OP. I hope you have better clients in the future...
carelessxdanger 9
well, whatever happens to him is his own fault. you can only do your best at this point.
shhhaaarrron 12
It's okay OP, you can't control anyone.
cheshirecat13242 32
Perhaps that's a sign that you should be more picky about your clientele..?
cardinallove 11
He's probably a public defender
a4s 8
FYL? After his comment it's F his life, or the judges if u accept ur clients comment
sanecatlady 13
I once read a joke list of things never to say to the judge while in court. One of them was, "Bite me, you robe-wearing geek". Pretty tame compared to what this client said!
BrotherPhil 35
Yup, know that one. I know someone whose solicitor won an otherwise simple case for him by keeping him in his seat whilst the other side commited legal suicide. Hard job, but worth every penny he paid him.
foxy_grampa 19
Maybe you can get him off by pleading insanity?
Fuaaad1994 31
He deserves what he's going to get, what an ass.
Blink_me26 21
Oh don't say that... Being a lawyer is my dream!
junkman6 22
Being a hit man is a more honest career than a lawyer.