Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that the small town I moved to to escape the...

OP, here. Being a small town of 200 hundred people there's really not much information when I did searches. Even the realistate agent didn't mention it. I've found that the tourists only know if it because they live in the sourrounding cities a few hours away and simply searched for lakes in the area. Unfortunately this "lake" they're vacationing to isn't really a lake. It's a man made reservoir for our drinking water. :/

Miscellaneous

Empathy lives

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Phantom pooper

29/11/2011 05:45

Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 203

You deserved it 2 849

06/10/2009 04:06

Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 796

You deserved it 2 169

21/08/2009 18:23

Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 3 758

07/11/2009 07:16

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 331

You deserved it 33 490

08/01/2015 03:13

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 2 611

11/10/2009 04:40

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 697

You deserved it 118 885

Humblebrag

By Jason - 09/09/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that have large "parts" is not all it's cracked up to be, when the girl of my dreams broke up with me because, and I quote, "We tried everything and it just won't fit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 243

20/04/2016 23:17

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 705

You deserved it 7 122

20/12/2010 03:41

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 250

You deserved it 24 234

17/06/2015 13:31

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 477

You deserved it 3 687

23/10/2010 15:13

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 572

You deserved it 4 141

Honor amongst maids

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 09:00

Today, a good friend from childhood, who was my maid of honor four years ago, got married. Without me knowing about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 187

21/05/2016 04:27

Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 965

You deserved it 864

Working in retail sucks

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 23:00

Today, a customer yelled at me because we didn't have any laptops in stock. I work at a clothing store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 96

22/07/2015 01:35

Today, my brother told me to, "Stop bitching and get over it" after I complained of pain from my stomach after invasive surgery. This from the guy who spends multiple hours a day playing Halo and whining about the stupid ways he got killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 722

You deserved it 2 055

21/02/2010 11:58

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 980

You deserved it 47 873

Parental advice

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 07:00

Today, my brother and his wife, who is 6 months pregnant, disturbed our boring family vacation by having really loud sex. Our Mother then began a sentence aimed at me that started with, "I think if you showed more enthusiasm…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 141

10/06/2011 04:08

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 362

You deserved it 13 006

10/08/2016 16:51

Today, all of my friends bailed from the birthday party I was throwing myself. This was also after they had encouraged me for months to have one, knowing I'd never had my birthday celebrated before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 427

You deserved it 844

22/05/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 130

07/04/2015 21:00

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 890

You deserved it 4 636

Nature trail

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 20:00

Today, I went crashing through shrubbery looking for the hiking trail that goes so nicely along the lakeside. On second thought, the trail looked very slightly different on the map. Turns out it’s not a trail at all – I'd been trying to hike the county line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 492

17/06/2011 03:25

Today, I was so lonely that I left the TV on for company. The power went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 587

You deserved it 5 760

12/09/2011 08:07

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 068

You deserved it 3 793

27/01/2009 02:18

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 361

You deserved it 2 134

16/06/2017 02:00

Today, I helped a stranger exchange 3,000 Argentinian pesos for US dollars through my bank. They gave him $3,000. The exchange rate is close to $195. My bank realized their mistake and now my bank account is -$2,805 expecting me to pay it back. All this happened before my recent paycheck came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 045

You deserved it 1 817

27/08/2017 23:15

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to surprise him and caught him with another girl. As my boyfriend got up to explain himself, I, in a state of shock, violently threw up on him (and partially her). His mum had let me in the house. At least I know whose side she's on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 760

You deserved it 298

08/03/2015 10:33

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 245

You deserved it 3 519

11/09/2010 21:46

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 083

You deserved it 5 628

There you go

By Anonymous - 04/07/2018 01:30

Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 800

You deserved it 1 489

17/06/2013 01:39

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 765

You deserved it 12 409

15/11/2011 00:46

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 417

You deserved it 2 726

13/08/2010 16:13

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to hack my Facebook and "like" everybody's statuses. This includes my boyfriend's about his grandmother dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 254

You deserved it 6 127

Scratch that

By ouch - 15/09/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days of using anti-itch cream for what pharmacists and nurses have called “an allergic reaction”, I was diagnosed with shingles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 100

09/08/2017 20:00

Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 023

You deserved it 340

Et tu, Brute?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2018 15:00

Today, I applied for a new job as a maintenance technician. About 10 minutes after submitting my resume, I received a rejection letter. My girlfriend is their HR person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 256

You deserved it 435

11/05/2016 15:53

Today, I found out I owe the IRS over $2,000 because of a mistake they made. Their "apology" basically amounted to "Oops, our bad. Now pay up or you're gonna be Bubba's new bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 471

You deserved it 1 312

It's not mine, dumbass

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 01:00

Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 173

01/09/2012 17:56

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 706

You deserved it 11 885

26/12/2012 19:30

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 083

You deserved it 3 974

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Top comments

Zanquis 22

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Monday 19 June 2017 20:31

Switch to the Celsius system, then the temperature won't hit triple digits... problem solved.

Gwengreen 6

Monday 19 June 2017 14:58

You didn't do research before you moved? Google is a great tool to look stuff up, like specific towns, tourist attractions and weather.

Comments

Gwengreen 6

Monday 19 June 2017 14:58

You didn't do research before you moved? Google is a great tool to look stuff up, like specific towns, tourist attractions and weather.

C8H18 33

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 June 2017 16:47

A Frenchy in Eire 31

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Friday 23 June 2017 10:26

wait, what? They are allowed to bath in your drinking water reservoir? O_o

C8H18 33

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Monday 26 June 2017 19:54

If they were doing that at least they would smell a little better. Currently they are taking their boats out in the water, swimming, and probably pissing in our drinking water. Nobody in charge does anything about it because they want the money from tourism.