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merissa22 Chicago, United States

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML

merissa22 tells us more.

nothing like a shot in my ass after trying to sum up the courage to go out in public won't help

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Yeah there's not much to add to this one. I guess since you're virtually unrecognizable this would be the time to go rob a bank?

Unrecognizable, you say? Time to streak naked and destroy stuff! Unless you have a birthmark/tattoo/unmistakable genital deformity.

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Comments (68)

And yet you can find the strength to post this

coughyochick 7

Typing takes strength?

Sounds painful. Hope you're feeling better.

"leaves of 3...leave them be"

jenniiienyc 5

That's poison ivy.. Poison oak has four leaves.

hallkchallkc 4

Wow. Better do your research before INCORRECTLY correcting someone. http://poisonoak-id.com/

jenniiienyc 5

Seriously though, my father has lied to me my whole life about the four leaves. I googled it, and had an epiphany thanks to FML.

poison oak is a vine numbnuts

I hope u get Better fast

This could become a good thing after awhile. After a few experiences like yours, I got immune to it. Getting there sucked

OMG that's horrible! I complain when it gets on my hands, I couldn't imagine my face severely swollen. I'm so sorry :( I suggest (if you haven't already) going and getting prednisone shots (and pills) and anti itch pills ...good luck. Also cool oatmeal baths might be your best friend.

skullofdarkness 18

Well what kinds of vines were you expecting, Red Vines? Unless you know for a fact that a vine is not poison Ivy or poison oak, it's always best to go under the assumption that it is one of the two.

Alastrina_fml 20

That really, really sucks. I hope you recover from it soon.

Yet you could see enough to type up this FML. Yeah, I don't buy it.

So here is what you are going to want to do. While your face is horribly swollen, go rob a small bank, or commit some other crime you've always wanted to commit. Even if the security cameras catch you, if you hide out for a couple of days until the swelling is gone, you're home free. Just try not to get shot by the cops during the crime. The swelling won't help you then.