Considering Op's username is "married to a nerd" it doesn't seem like she holds "nerds" in high esteem. Likely that the husband didn't tell her because he didn't want to be judged for a hobby he enjoys. Not saying he's fault free. You should be open about your hobbies and interests to your partner and not marry someone you can't be yourself in front of. Also doesn't seem like he was keeping this that much of a secret since the daughter even knows the name of his character.

Considering Op's username is "married to a nerd" it doesn't seem like she holds "nerds" in high esteem. Likely that the husband didn't tell her because he didn't want to be judged for a hobby he enjoys. Not saying he's fault free. You should be open about your hobbies and interests to your partner and not marry someone you can't be yourself in front of. Also doesn't seem like he was keeping this that much of a secret since the daughter even knows the name of his character.

For the second part of your question, it sounds like they were both at home. OP wouldn't be able to follow him if he had already left. OP probably heard her husband leaving and hence the question and subsequent stalking.

People can be quite judgemental so sometimes they hide stuff from people they're dating...then after a while it gets harder and harder to admit it to them, particularly if they disapprove of it.

If playing D&D makes OP think any less of her husband, then she should be as ashamed of that as he appears to have been about enjoying the game. However, I think the name reflects frustration at him keeping a secret from her, more than it shows that she disapproves of nerds. At least, I hope that's the case. Also, the daughter knew the name "Zoe". OP makes no mention of her kid saying or implying that Zoe was only a character in a game, and not another woman. This issue wouldn't exist if OP's daughter had said Zoe was a character.

The daughter is 4. She doesn't understand what a character is, is incapable of understanding it. OP and her husband just need to actually talk to each other.

And what makes you think he didn’t tell her? Maybe he told her he was going out with his friends (you need a group to play D&D) and op forgot. No one tells their SO that they’re going off to cheat.

Calling OP a "suspicious creeper" for not being able to sit twiddling her thumbs for an undetermined amount of time, waiting for her husband to come home from "having fun with Zoe", is way off the mark. She acted thinking her family was at risk of falling apart, so she went to stop it. If she had waited, the anger and paranoia would have built up inside her, causing it to be unleashed on him the second he got through the door. He would have been under fire for "cheating", until he admitted what he was really doing, and then she would have to explain why she suddenly didn't trust him. Imagine all of this going on, with their kid in the middle of it, and then tell me which decision you would have made.

Why would she have to sit at home waiting? 99% of people have cell phones.

You can lie about where you are, and what you're doing when using a cell phone. Face-to-face confrontation gives you a chance to gauge reactions to your questions from body language. Unless the person being questioned is a sociopath.

Yeah right cuz people usually admit to cheating 🙄

My god you’re a twit. Yes she did act like a creeper. The poor person who is in a relationship with you. Not having friends they could cheat with. That’s called being controlling and paranoid, a very unhealthy relationship. My brother and his girlfriend are in a good relationship, but she and I have fun together. Because we share some interests.

"My DnD char" "Rrright... Like I'd believe that..."

If you managed to marry someone without knowing their hobbies include things where they would have named characters, that's not a great sign.

Damn right you are.