By socially awkward - 10/03/2012 06:00 - United States

Spicy
Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Betz 10

Use that same amount of alcohol to get her drunk instead. Problem solved.

145 10
Psycho_Babydoll 26

Get off the Internet, Raaj.

107 5

Comments

DjeePee 24

I thought it was common knowledge that too much alcohol can prevent erections.

15 3
perdix 29

Unfortunately, the song "Too Drunk To ****" by the Dead Kennedys didn't get enough airplay to be an effective PSA about alcohol-induced impotence.

19 4
Keebz_02 0

I would have thought Buckcherry would have picked up the Kennedy's slack on that one.

3 1
iamyummylicious 14

The equal sign is possessive of a limp noodle? Is it possessive of the OP's limp noodle? Woah, woah, woah! Wait a second... I'm confused here. Is the OP trying to make love to punctuation? Grammarphelia? Punctuality?

11 4
Clamcreepy 7

I thought some of the female commenters would give you some pointers or something, I thought wrong. You should get high instead because you'll more likely get a boner and can still get the smoking courage but u you have to act fast before your high wears off

12 15
friedchickenpie 14

This comment is the great. Not because of it actually being a good comment, but because it matches his picture so perfectly.

8 1
RamenForTheWin 10

Raaj, Howard's looking for you. He says it's time to go to that country bar to pick up cowgirls.

19 5
ZooMzy 9

Is it odd that I could hear the words of this comment perfectly in my head with Morgan Freeman's voice?

4 1
ZooMzy 9

Is it odd that I could hear the words of this comment perfectly in my head with Morgan Freeman's voice?

1 0
RamenForTheWin 10

Nope, it's just like when you see a picture of Billy Mays with an all caps and black print caption and you read it in his voice. Ah, Billy, you are missed. You really made me want to BUY OXYCLEAN!...

0 1
goodgood_fml 5

I personally wouldn't date or sleep with anyone I met at the bar. I don't even go to bars. Yuck. Since thats your thing, create an alter-ego. Think of him as being cool, smart, rich, and HUNG. Walk in that bar like you own it. Don't even speak to dudes, speak to every last single lady there. Tell her that dress looks great. Tell her you like her nails. Ask her to dance. If she says no, say YOUR LOSS. Move to the next one. Someone will dance eventually. Good luck. Or, try nicer places. Restaurants or malls.

18 4
JustOhSoLovely 6

Do not let your alter ego and your real self have a conversation. The women won't care how hung you are if they see you screaming in different voices at how you should walk.

7 1
Adelaide_CF 6

"Walk in that bar like you own it. Don't even speak to dudes, speak to every last single lady there. Tell her that dress looks great. Tell her you like her nails. Ask her to dance. If she says no, say YOUR LOSS. Move to the next one. " If sex is what he wants, this will only make things worse. He will have erection, but no woman to ****, because seriously... Such behavior is retarded :D

3 1
Voqab 3

No shorty is gonna **** da guy they've seen holla at every chick in da place. Period

0 1
unagi_fml 9

Dutch courage comes at a price

3 2
knockoutmouse 8

I don't mean this to sound insulting, but maybe you'd do better if you tried to meet women at places other than bars. If you're looking for a hookup, then sure, but if you want an actual relationship, then it might be better to meet some women and develop friendships with them first. Join a club or organization, volunteer, start conversations in class. Get to know her first, and you won't feel like there's as much pressure on you, that you're in a now-or-never scenario. Or even if you do want to pick up girls in bars, just start a conversation and ask if you can see her again; don't go into it with an expectation of immediate sex. Ask her opinion of the sports game or political debate on the bar's TV. Compliment her choice of beer. Ask her if she likes the music. Ask her to dance. Not that there's anything wrong with choosing to do so, but I personally would never sleep with someone that I'd just met in a bar. Would I get a phone number and go on a date? Maybe. Would I go have sex with someone that I just met? Absolutely not, especially if one or both of us has been consuming alcohol.

10 2
tdawg4200 0

Preachy preachy preachy. And you're a prude.

1 4
andythegreat 0

How about you just stop being such a timid bitch and actually act like an adult. Holy shit, really? I can't talk to women because I'm not drunk. Don't use likes or No bs, and just strike up a conversation. It's not hard...

4 11