By Dat_Class_Tho - 03/03/2016 23:33 - United States - Atwater

Today, despite being over-qualified, I was turned down for a job because my fiancé works in a different dept/building of the same company. This is a really small town. If knowing existing employees is going to be an automatic disqualification, I'm going to have to move or commute 2 hours a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks 19 068
You deserved it 1 400

Dat_Class_Tho tells us more.

Dat_Class_Tho 26

Hi there, this is the author. I've never commented on my own fml before, so please forgive me if I'm doing it wrong. Here are some details that might clear up some confusion I'm seeing in the comments: The HR manager of the potential employer is the one who told me that I was over qualified and that having a familial or romantic relationship with another employee was against their policy. This discussion was during my 2nd call back interview. Getting a 2nd call back had really gotten my hopes up so the bad news had a little extra salt in the wound. She was extremely nice about it though. She explained that the only real concern was the appearance of favoritism, as several of you guessed. She went so far as to recommend other companies/agencies in the area that would value my skills. I asked her if these other companies had similar "no family" policies, as I recognized every name on the list to be one of my family members' employers. She said that she was pretty sure they did have the same policy, and that maybe it would be best if I waited until I was married so that my last name would change and no longer raise a red flag. She said that as long as the question was never asked, I wouldn't have to disclose my family ties. I don't want to just sit around waiting for marriage. I enjoy contributing equally to the finances and go stir crazy with nothing to do. Also, we haven't settled on a date so I don't even know when the wedding will be, or even if we will be able to afford it if I don't find a source of income comparable to my last job. I need to find something soon and I'm still applying everywhere even if my family works there, but the odds are not in my favor. Thank you to anyone who wished me luck with my job search, I appreciate it.

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Top comments

Dilwann 27

I find it more likely that you're not allowed to have relationships with coworkers. Knowing other people is usually a reason to get in, not to get rejected.

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Feklfekl2222 32

I've never got policies like that, they're not really a thing in the UK, fair enough if you're her boss or vice versa, but otherwise what are they worried about? You having sex on the desk?

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Comments

Dilwann 27

I find it more likely that you're not allowed to have relationships with coworkers. Knowing other people is usually a reason to get in, not to get rejected.

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CravenCat 9

She said that he works in a different building. If they were directly working together it would be a problem, but I

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CravenCat 9

She said he works in a different building. Being employed by the same company shouldn't matter if they aren't working together.

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lrh11 14

Also,if the town is small enough he could have family members in many of the prominent businesses.

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Feklfekl2222 32

I've never got policies like that, they're not really a thing in the UK, fair enough if you're her boss or vice versa, but otherwise what are they worried about? You having sex on the desk?

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Abidawe 15

Fights, breakups and divorces are bad for the work environment and not grounds for firing

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Dale_shackleford 13

What 8 said, but also undeserved promotions. Lots of companies have policies like that to prevent the boss from coercing an employee into a relationship with the offer of a promotion or promoting his wife or GF instead of someone else. It's a pretty logical policy if you think about it.

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Feklfekl2222 32

Like I say, I can understand if they're going to be working directly together, but as they're in completely different buildings and departments, the fiancés company refusing to hire their spouse to be is more likely to be a source of conflict

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mm12344 8

I think it was because you were in a relationship, not because you know him. Some companies have policies against it.

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jen1097 25

At my job, you can't be in relationships due to bias and favouritism. Wouldn't take it personally

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Mathalamus 24

How would you know that was the sole reason? I mean, if your fiancé wasn't there, you might not get the job anyway, for being over qualified.

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coops456 14

they tell you why

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pandemonium307 10

Not all companies do for liability reasons..

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Dale_shackleford 13

Many places just don't call back when they reject someone.

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TADspace 30

A lot of places don't like employees being in a relationship with other employees. Could cause drama. I've seen places have the same rule for family at a few places.

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aliciousness116 16

Isn't it suppose to be more feasible to join a company if you have references working at the business rather than being turned down? Twisted world we live in.

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revolvearoundme 15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
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sarianna 10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
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Badkarma4u 17

Depending on the industry and size of the town OP is in, there may only be only place in that town OP is qualified to work at their current salary level. It's not uncommon in small town America for this to happen. Since OP mentions having to drive 2 hours it sounds that also makes it sound as if OP is in a small town. OP may not be overreacting at all.

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bad_boyfriend 10

You're an idiot. Nothing about her statement is an overreaction.

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T1A2Z3 34

She says every place she can work is somewhere a family member works...

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ThatHorse 15

There are 3 things at work here keeping you from that job. 1. you're female 2. you're overqualified 3. you're in a relationship with another employee It sucks that American companies will turn you down for just one of those things, but all 3 at once is a career killer.

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MandieL 27

Is being female really still that big an issue in California? Legit question.

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Dale_shackleford 13

Not really, but #3 is usually taken somewhat seriously if the company has existing policies.

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pharaohasphuck 10

I don't understand where you got 1 from but that is not correct.

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ThatHorse 15

I got 1 from the fact that is is a big problem in the U.S. still #27

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kthack 4

Male interviewer will hire an attractive female but not an unattractive one, a female interviewer will hire another female less attractive than her but not more. Not exactly the most common thing, but it definitely does still happen. Not so much the "You're a girl so you just can't do it" anymore, the world isn't quite *that* stupid.

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