By Dat_Class_Tho - 03/03/2016 23:33 - United States - Atwater

Today, despite being over-qualified, I was turned down for a job because my fiancé works in a different dept/building of the same company. This is a really small town. If knowing existing employees is going to be an automatic disqualification, I'm going to have to move or commute 2 hours a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 989
You deserved it 1 395

Dat_Class_Tho tells us more.

Hi there, this is the author. I've never commented on my own fml before, so please forgive me if I'm doing it wrong. Here are some details that might clear up some confusion I'm seeing in the comments: The HR manager of the potential employer is the one who told me that I was over qualified and that having a familial or romantic relationship with another employee was against their policy. This discussion was during my 2nd call back interview. Getting a 2nd call back had really gotten my hopes up so the bad news had a little extra salt in the wound. She was extremely nice about it though. She explained that the only real concern was the appearance of favoritism, as several of you guessed. She went so far as to recommend other companies/agencies in the area that would value my skills. I asked her if these other companies had similar "no family" policies, as I recognized every name on the list to be one of my family members' employers. She said that she was pretty sure they did have the same policy, and that maybe it would be best if I waited until I was married so that my last name would change and no longer raise a red flag. She said that as long as the question was never asked, I wouldn't have to disclose my family ties. I don't want to just sit around waiting for marriage. I enjoy contributing equally to the finances and go stir crazy with nothing to do. Also, we haven't settled on a date so I don't even know when the wedding will be, or even if we will be able to afford it if I don't find a source of income comparable to my last job. I need to find something soon and I'm still applying everywhere even if my family works there, but the odds are not in my favor. Thank you to anyone who wished me luck with my job search, I appreciate it.

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I find it more likely that you're not allowed to have relationships with coworkers. Knowing other people is usually a reason to get in, not to get rejected.

I've never got policies like that, they're not really a thing in the UK, fair enough if you're her boss or vice versa, but otherwise what are they worried about? You having sex on the desk?

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I find it more likely that you're not allowed to have relationships with coworkers. Knowing other people is usually a reason to get in, not to get rejected.

She said that he works in a different building. If they were directly working together it would be a problem, but I

She said he works in a different building. Being employed by the same company shouldn't matter if they aren't working together.

Also,if the town is small enough he could have family members in many of the prominent businesses.

I've never got policies like that, they're not really a thing in the UK, fair enough if you're her boss or vice versa, but otherwise what are they worried about? You having sex on the desk?

Fights, breakups and divorces are bad for the work environment and not grounds for firing

What 8 said, but also undeserved promotions. Lots of companies have policies like that to prevent the boss from coercing an employee into a relationship with the offer of a promotion or promoting his wife or GF instead of someone else. It's a pretty logical policy if you think about it.

Like I say, I can understand if they're going to be working directly together, but as they're in completely different buildings and departments, the fiancés company refusing to hire their spouse to be is more likely to be a source of conflict

I think it was because you were in a relationship, not because you know him. Some companies have policies against it.

At my job, you can't be in relationships due to bias and favouritism. Wouldn't take it personally

How would you know that was the sole reason? I mean, if your fiancé wasn't there, you might not get the job anyway, for being over qualified.

they tell you why

Not all companies do for liability reasons..

Many places just don't call back when they reject someone.

A lot of places don't like employees being in a relationship with other employees. Could cause drama. I've seen places have the same rule for family at a few places.

Isn't it suppose to be more feasible to join a company if you have references working at the business rather than being turned down? Twisted world we live in.

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Depending on the industry and size of the town OP is in, there may only be only place in that town OP is qualified to work at their current salary level. It's not uncommon in small town America for this to happen. Since OP mentions having to drive 2 hours it sounds that also makes it sound as if OP is in a small town. OP may not be overreacting at all.

You're an idiot. Nothing about her statement is an overreaction.

She says every place she can work is somewhere a family member works...

There are 3 things at work here keeping you from that job. 1. you're female 2. you're overqualified 3. you're in a relationship with another employee It sucks that American companies will turn you down for just one of those things, but all 3 at once is a career killer.

Is being female really still that big an issue in California? Legit question.

Not really, but #3 is usually taken somewhat seriously if the company has existing policies.

I don't understand where you got 1 from but that is not correct.

I got 1 from the fact that is is a big problem in the U.S. still #27

Male interviewer will hire an attractive female but not an unattractive one, a female interviewer will hire another female less attractive than her but not more. Not exactly the most common thing, but it definitely does still happen. Not so much the "You're a girl so you just can't do it" anymore, the world isn't quite *that* stupid.