Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML
Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
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Top comments
Micayla 12
Hey, it'll be some type of experience to put down on your resume! Props to you though, I got hit with a paintball once and it hurt like hell!
purebliss_fml 19
A job's a job! At least you're not a hooker, if that makes you feel any better...
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Comments (143)
ronburgundy111 2
I'd do it anyday. Just don't forget padding... everywhere
nancem 7
This reminds me of Seth Rogen's job at the end of Zack and Miri
kellyem2 20
Noticed you're from Michigan. By any chance does this position include being dressed as a zombie in a corn field? If so, I'll be one of the people shooting at you. I'll try to miss.
cosmo89 4
If this the Lexington fright fest, zombie paintball hayride.... I plan on going :) and I think you guys better get paid a frap load of money to do this! I almost signed up myself lol
Supa15 8
Sounds like a blast
lanco_fml 10
stay positive it's the start of something..you won't be at this job for long as more opportunities will present themselves..
154rct 7
How much does it pay?
Stayin_Classy777 8
Horse inseminator is a slightly worse job. That's about it, you come close second
gc327072 31
Sometimes love, don't feel like it should, When it hurts so good.
kaymarie929292 2
Are you a zombie with a haunted house? Haha I know this sounds weird but my brother is one and they have this zombie paintball massacre so all people do is shoot at him all night long