Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML
Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
Today, I got on the bus and the driver said I didn't have to pay since the ticket machine was broken. I was happy to have saved £2.40 until I realised someone had stolen my new £700 phone while I was talking to the driver. FML
Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML
Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
This is what constitutes humour these days? What happened to whoopie cushions and rubber chickens and fart jokes? In my day, we, uh...shit, I forget. But it was funny, dammit!
rg350dx 29
Drew penises on your friends' cave paintings? Chiseled obscenities on your teacher's rock slab?
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Comments (72)
perdix 31
So, you passed on the vending machine junk food and walked home. Is your friend a prankster or your personal fitness coach?
cieloalicia 16
That's a risky joke to pull.
BeccaHugs 17
OP your friend is an ass.
loserman67 36
Just as a joke, ram your friend's head into the next vending machine
ZombieSazza 34
I'd get new friends.
Cely988 29
Isn't that a bit too extreme?
DrownedMyFish 18
What part of that was supposed to be funny?
KiddNYC1O 22
We've all been had numerous times by those robots.
fml1365 30
You could get your money back if there was an attendant there.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Never let your "friend" in your pocket, most friendships end over money.
jonathanmoore 12
Some friend you have