Health: Today, after freshly spraying my home with the new insecticide,...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By No No No x1,000 - 26/04/2016 04:21 - United States - Toledo

Today, after freshly spraying my home with the new insecticide, I proudly went to put on my shoes to go for a walk, knowing I now wouldn't need to deal with creepy crawlies at home. Guess what was hidden in my shoe? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 7

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False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 26 April 2016 23:11

A Lego? A crazy ex from 5 years ago? A bomb? Don't leave us all hanging in suspense, TELL US!

Comments

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 26 April 2016 23:11

A Lego? A crazy ex from 5 years ago? A bomb? Don't leave us all hanging in suspense, TELL US!

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Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 562

You deserved it 2 469

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

The Top

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

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You deserved it 5 665

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 044

You deserved it 7 073

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 170

You deserved it 2 792

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 394

You deserved it 1 581

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 238

Today, I accidentally called my Dad “Babe” on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 704