This ain't gonna end well

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 12:04

Today, my partner of 5 years and I sat down to talk because I expressed hope for a proposal in near future. He instead believed that we should wait, and talk about a potential future for us in another two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 568
You deserved it 272

Same thing different taste

Top comments

End it. He's stringing you along, OP. Unless you're 19, five years is more than enough time to expect to make a permanent commitment, one way or the other. I'm so sorry.

ROJJ86 4

On the one hand, he is willing to talk in two years. On the other hand, this could be a HUGE sign of someone afraid of commitment. If he meets your other needs, acknowledges the relationship, maybe think on it. If there are lots of other little signs, run. Far and fast.

Comments

Caitlin McNeil 2

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and change, I'm 26 and don't feel like I'd want to get married for at least 2 years (trying to save $ for a house/condo). Some people have other priorities than you will but if you can't have a rationale conversation with your SO at this point then you're just not ready to take that step. FYI my bf feels the same because we talk and make compromises that we're both satisfied with 🙃

It's up to you whether you want more to stay with him or to get out of a relationship with someone who after five years isn't on the same page you are. And of course there may be factors that affect your decision -- for instance, does he want to discuss this in two years because he's not yet sure he wants to live his life with you, or because he wants to finish a degree or deployment or savings goal or whatever before entering into marriage? But whether you stay with him or eventually wind up with someone else, you don't have to "hope for a proposal" from anyone; if you're with someone and are sure it's what you want and are reasonably sure it's what your partner would like, there's nothing wrong with proposing yourself.

tigerzroze 16

I feel like a lot of people here miss one major point. You both are clearly on very different pages. You are ready to settle down and get married, he is not. Sure you can wait and maybe be happy and fine, but, this could also end up leading to resentment. It’s a very fine line. That said, If you guys are you, I would suggest waiting either way, I got married young and regret it. If not, then you need to evaluate where you are at in life, and if this is going to work for you in the next 2 years.

Do NOT listen to the “pick me” individuals telling you to waste your time for another 2 years. If he wanted to be with you he’d commit & not make you wait another 2 years on top of the 5 you’ve already spent with him. Some men will string you along & have you believing he wants something you do when in reality they’re happy as is. If this is a big issue for you then you need to tell him that it’s either be with you & plan a future or break up. You have value & you know your value is worth more than what he’s assigned to you.

geez take the damn hint. he's just not that into you.