By Louis - France - Paris The FML Showdown! If you're on vacation, you'll be wondering if your diving skills are up to scratch. Check out the competition in this video. 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Faithy - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9709 You deserved it 48252 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Devil's Pigeon Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML I agree, your life sucks 4169 You deserved it 382 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By leez - United States Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML I agree, your life sucks 33970 You deserved it 1821 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dino0123 - United States - Herndon Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML I agree, your life sucks 32333 You deserved it 4468 210 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after a long shift, I came home and cleaned my house so I could relax tomorrow. I finished up the night with a soothing bubble bath, which was lovely until the ceiling collapsed into the tub. I can't even wash the filth off because my bath is full of drain-clogging plaster. FML I agree, your life sucks 2684 You deserved it 132 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, while dropping files off at my boss's house, I tripped and fell into his fish tank. We both watched as a crack spread all the way across the glass and shattered, covering his carpet in fish and water. His only words to me were, "I'll see you at work tomorrow. Maybe." FML I agree, your life sucks 4309 You deserved it 579 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alek - United States Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML I agree, your life sucks 27688 You deserved it 3650 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seriously? - United States - Spring Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML I agree, your life sucks 30440 You deserved it 7560 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tictacnose - Canada Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML I agree, your life sucks 34399 You deserved it 3192 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eh... - Ukraine Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML I agree, your life sucks 53280 You deserved it 8014 208 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Boner Ben Today, I found out that the play I'm doing requires me to strip naked and get an erection for a few scenes. It didn’t come up in rehearsal and the play starts in 2 days. I'm not sure how to tell my family who are coming from out of town that my first role involves me playing with my boner. FML I agree, your life sucks 2598 You deserved it 661 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By THATgirl Today, our wedding venue canceled on us, leaving us 8 months to find another in peak foliage season. My parents contacted the local news over the ordeal, but they're using my name and picture to make me look like a whiny brat who didn’t get her way. FML I agree, your life sucks 3970 You deserved it 1161 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TimeForAHairCut - United States - Eugene Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML I agree, your life sucks 27880 You deserved it 2099 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wormsmeat - Canada - Kingston Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 27915 You deserved it 1748 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Dallas Today, I returned to work after taking two days off to find I'd been fired. Why? For not being at work on those two days. Everything was agreed in writing, all trace of which has mysteriously vanished. I can't work until HR sorts it out, and nobody can tell me how long that'll take. FML I agree, your life sucks 22173 You deserved it 1484 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oink401 - Canada Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 60792 You deserved it 4347 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jack - United Kingdom - London Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML I agree, your life sucks 27058 You deserved it 2405 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lily Today, I did a sprint in gym class. Despite being the skinniest in the class, I ran slower than everyone else, including two morbidly obese people. FML I agree, your life sucks 2053 You deserved it 2367 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notcountry! Today, even though my mom’s only ever been to the south once, she’s completely obsessed with talking with a bad, overly exaggerated southern accent. Not to mention constantly prattling off random nonsensical country phrases. We’re from and still live in California, nowhere near any country. FML I agree, your life sucks 1555 You deserved it 150 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AtheistLookingforRoomie Today, I had a meeting with a potential roommate to rent a 2/2 space and it was going well. We laughed, joked, and seemed to get along and want the same things. At the end of the conversation, however, he said he needed to "pray" about his decision to room with an atheist. This probably won't work out. FML I agree, your life sucks 6181 You deserved it 1473 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sir Anon - United States - Champlin Today, I had to leave work early as I almost passed out. My girlfriend's first question after I told her what happened was, "Did you hear Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar?" FML I agree, your life sucks 18411 You deserved it 2162 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By asdfghjkl - United States Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 35220 You deserved it 3903 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML I agree, your life sucks 33452 You deserved it 5040 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Letteh Today, my boyfriend transferred some money to me online. He put a joke reference of "Anal nice 'n cheap". We need to show a month-long bank statement to our mortgage broker tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 4006 You deserved it 507 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML I agree, your life sucks 38162 You deserved it 2441 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The_FN_Gunny - United States - Smyrna Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML I agree, your life sucks 47267 You deserved it 4129 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fucking fuck it fucking hurts - United States Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML I agree, your life sucks 28539 You deserved it 6159 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xxxchelsiexxx - United States Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 29286 You deserved it 7803 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend emotionally proposed over dinner, and I said yes. Soon after he left, he tweeted "I just fucked up...." and a few minutes later called me and claimed the proposal was a prank. FML I agree, your life sucks 28440 You deserved it 1870 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dave - United States Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 55356 You deserved it 3551 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ambar - Canada Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML I agree, your life sucks 28631 You deserved it 2745 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brianna Michelle Ferrell Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML I agree, your life sucks 2461 You deserved it 330 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mother of a dumb blonde Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML I agree, your life sucks 3747 You deserved it 658 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fml37 - Canada Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML I agree, your life sucks 30507 You deserved it 4714 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleeplessinrichmond - United States - Bronx Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML I agree, your life sucks 43646 You deserved it 2944 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 97749 You deserved it 22925 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Asshole Parker - United States Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML I agree, your life sucks 13259 You deserved it 7391 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ugh - United States Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML I agree, your life sucks 31315 You deserved it 3499 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 10:05 - United States - Baton Rouge Medically accurate Today, I sprained my ankle badly at a volleyball game. I asked my coach for some athletic tape so I could get back in the game. She handed me duct tape and said that athletic tape and duct tape are basically the same. Getting duct tape off your sprained ankle hurts like hell. FML I agree, your life sucks 984 You deserved it 156 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By today Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML I agree, your life sucks 38932 You deserved it 4383 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Exaspera | 54 #7438040 - Thursday 13 April 2017 7:25 Poor Bernie. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Cali | 54 #7438098 - Thursday 13 April 2017 10:06 I'm a Doug fan, myself. Teach me how to Doug. Send a private message Reply
By jkjorn | 15 #7438293 - Thursday 13 April 2017 15:30 Love how the bystanders in Doug's video don't react at all, like they're pretending they didn't just see that. Doug! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Samantha McDonald | 2 #7439443 - Saturday 15 April 2017 18:20 Doug definitely failed the hardest ? Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 675 You deserved it 99 8 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 494 You deserved it 395 6 Comments