Kids: Technique

Technique

By icandothecancan - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Duncan

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 000

You deserved it 6 240

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Same thing different taste

By kansasgirl - 02/03/2010 18:21 - United States

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 759

You deserved it 4 379

Chase me!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 00:30

Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 241

By Anonymous - 31/08/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 203

You deserved it 2 528

By EOJ - 10/02/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 922

You deserved it 55 264

By OhDear - 25/05/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 427

You deserved it 4 848

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 09/11/2012 18:28 - Argentina - Villa Sarmiento

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 7 365

By geli - 09/08/2016 00:12

Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 776

You deserved it 1 433

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 14:22 - Canada - Langley

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 412

You deserved it 15 157

This is fine

By Anonymous - 09/06/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 647

You deserved it 10 369

cjmedic 12

Sunday 22 June 2014 13:43

Calm your ****.

NopeFuckThat 7

Sunday 22 June 2014 13:40

At least your son is okay (?) :)

Comments

Wrex 13

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:01

Well that went **** up

teotsi 28

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:24

Terrible.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 23 June 2014 6:54

And down and up and down...

stewmin 2

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:06

Pics or it didnt happen

lurch87 18

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:06

photos? ? haha

cakefete2 30

Sunday 22 June 2014 15:48

Makes sense. OP would have stopped, taken pictures, and then had enough time to save her son from getting hit. This will definitely be the illustrated FML as soon as OP can upload the footage she shot.

pwnman 33

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:15

Oh my god! Is the dress okay????

JBChristian 47

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:19

Worried about the dress? -_- Is the child okay?!

aire101 16

Sunday 22 June 2014 16:00

..,and that would be the joke you obviously didn't get.

glabberfasted 16

Sunday 22 June 2014 16:36

WHOOSH!

robotiick7 23

Sunday 22 June 2014 17:52

*WOOSH* hey #18 did you hear that? That's the sound of sarcasm going right over your head.

the_Jessicaaa 11

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:23

Ur a good mom

icandothecancan 24

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:26

OP here, thank you FML staff for taking the time to correct my errors in grammar. However, I strongly believe the way I worded the FML made it much funnier. Anyways, enough complaining from me. I love this site. My child is fine, the dress has yet to be repaired, and my ego was slightly inflated by the look of admiration I received from the driver.

briggsopposed 8

Sunday 22 June 2014 14:35

******* liar

abhi95 31

Sunday 22 June 2014 16:22

Can you please change your profile picture to one of yourself in it? So that we can get a clearer picture of how the fml played out.. If you know what I mean!

OysterPearls 33

Sunday 22 June 2014 19:40

It's good to know everything is alright now, (minus the dress), hope it can be salvaged!

beaverteaser 16

Sunday 22 June 2014 23:25

hooray for boobies

Chibi_Kitten 24

Monday 23 June 2014 2:36

Atleast the driver isn't going to report you for public indecency...

91hayek 31

Monday 23 June 2014 2:52

So it was a male driver? Or a female who was just as impressed? At least that's better than revulsion which would cause panic which would result in an accident.