Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
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Top comments
Pwn17 25
You're tearing him apart, Lisa!
ischneid101 4
"Oh hi mark!"
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Comments (61)
itooamscrewed 10
It's Denny not doggie. I'd dump him on that principle. And that movie is the worst movie ever, but it's SO GOOD because of that fact!
geekgirl72494 8
the flower shop scene. you could have easily missed it, it was only 10 seconds. he does say oh hi doggy!
dcross1213 4
you should text me you'll get what want
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Sorry buddy this is FML! Match.com is right over there ----->
TheAnalPickle 13
Anyway, how is your sex life?
Yonex_fml 1
The Room is not crappy, it's awesome!
amisenho 11
It's naht crappy! It's bullshit! It isn't crappy! It is naaaht! Oh hi, Yonex!
jrock9093 18
Sounds like a good man there! Go boyfriend yeah!!!!
mothertruck 6
You invited all of my friends, good thinking!
saltysilverfox 7
at least he didn't say that
zomgbies 17
Oh hai Danny.
geekgirl72494 8
i love that movie!
imdabess 9
"I did not hit her, I did not! oh hi jason"
spunkylady 24
That movie was hands down the worst movie I have ever seen...