Today, I had to admit to an attractive coworker that it wasn't a hickey on my neck, but a mosquito bite instead. I then realized how alone I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a park, I bent to examine a mosquito bite I had. As I looked up, I noticed a nearby couple staring and whispering in abject horror before calling their kids over to get bug-sprayed, pointing me out. Terrified, they immediately complied. It’s not even my worst bite. FML
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Today, I noticed I had a dead gnat stuck on my chin. This was after an hour-long appointment with a good looking doctor. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Or maybe you didn't want to admit it WAS a hickey and you have a mosquito kink. Ask your coworker if he'd dress up like a horsefly or a chigger. Rawr!
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Or maybe you didn't want to admit it WAS a hickey and you have a mosquito kink. Ask your coworker if he'd dress up like a horsefly or a chigger. Rawr!
ChipBoundary 9
How do you confuse a mosquito bite with a hickey???