By Anonymous - 8/9/2021 08:00

Sibling rivalry

Today, my youngest son got lost while shopping. I was frantic, but my oldest son didn’t care, his opinion seemed to be "Who cares?" and "Quick, let’s leave before he turns up." He didn’t even unplug his earphones or look up from his phone. FML
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  Chazzster  |  22

While we want our children to love and care for each other, it’s not always that way - especially if their personalities clash. But it’s the parent’s job to teach compassion - It seems you failed.

Unless an older sibling is old enough to understand responsibility, understands what their responsibility is towards a younger sibling, and has demonstrated responsibility do not rely on an older sibling to watch a younger one. In any case that’s actually your responsibility as a parent when you are there.

Note - I was the oldest child of 4. My next closest sibling was 11 years younger. Mom and Dad both worked Saturdays (Mom until noon anyway as a bank teller). We had a sitter Mon-Friday but Saturday mornings I was the sitter. It wasn’t my favorite thing, but I did my part (no babysitter pay, but Mom and Dad provided for me).

My ex works in a school system in CA and told me that she was taught that often in Hispanic culture the oldest child is responsible for watching the younger ones while Mom shops. And by the way, the younger children are taught to obey the older sibling in this situation. But in this case the roles are clearly understood and the expectations are clear - It’s not like Dad panics when he loses his younger child and then he suddenly expects the older child to have been watching their younger sibling.

COMMENTS
By  Chazzster  |  22

While we want our children to love and care for each other, it’s not always that way - especially if their personalities clash. But it’s the parent’s job to teach compassion - It seems you failed.

Unless an older sibling is old enough to understand responsibility, understands what their responsibility is towards a younger sibling, and has demonstrated responsibility do not rely on an older sibling to watch a younger one. In any case that’s actually your responsibility as a parent when you are there.

Note - I was the oldest child of 4. My next closest sibling was 11 years younger. Mom and Dad both worked Saturdays (Mom until noon anyway as a bank teller). We had a sitter Mon-Friday but Saturday mornings I was the sitter. It wasn’t my favorite thing, but I did my part (no babysitter pay, but Mom and Dad provided for me).

My ex works in a school system in CA and told me that she was taught that often in Hispanic culture the oldest child is responsible for watching the younger ones while Mom shops. And by the way, the younger children are taught to obey the older sibling in this situation. But in this case the roles are clearly understood and the expectations are clear - It’s not like Dad panics when he loses his younger child and then he suddenly expects the older child to have been watching their younger sibling.