Today, I turned on my furnace when I got home from work for the first time this season. Only problem? Cats. Our kitten Norman has never heard a furnace in his life and Noel has just forgotten what a furnace sounds like. Both cats are terrified and won't stop yelping. I just want to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dumbass cat won't stop screaming and whining at me because I won't let him go outside. It's winter, and this is the Midwest. He did this without my knowledge once before and had almost frozen to death by the time I figured out where he was. Also, he's too loud for earplugs to drown him out. FML
Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML
Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML
Today, there are two cats in my basement that won't stop fighting. Loudly. I'm trying to sleep, if you don't mind. FML
Today, I'm covered in scratches because a feral cat found its way under the house and tore apart the A/C duct to climb its way into my room in the middle of the night. After 30 minutes of chasing it, I got rid of it, but my room now smells like cat piss and I'm applying Neosporin to places I should never have to. FML
Today, I watched our very clever cat turn on our oven with ease. I now fear for my children's lives. FML
Today, I know there's something wrong with my cat when his meowing starts to sound really weird. But just now, his meow has gotten so unusual that he actually scared the shit out of me. I thought it was an entirely different cat that got into my house before I looked back. Yeah, he's going to the vet. FML
Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
What a shitty situation. Erm, hold on. My deck of generic puns got shuffled. I hope you mean EX kitt—whoops, wrong deck. Meow, cat food, litter boxes. (I had to wing it.)
CheekyRaccoon 27
What a bunch of scaredy cats.
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Comments (33)
catlady4eva 9
Don't you just love cats? I can relate but don't worry they'll get used to it eventually, I hope
CheekyRaccoon 27
What a bunch of scaredy cats.
zainman13 26
Bunch of *******..
Lalala579121 28
Sounds like a real catastrophe.
zilla963 5
maybe there is a problem with the furnace? it could be emitting carbon monoxide or something that they smell and are afraid of? keep an eye out and maybe get it checked out?
wow2mylife 25
no they will show more aggressive behaviors and getting their mom attention somehow and just not yelping
bleu85 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
turn off the furnace or get rid of the cats....
Wolverine48Ga 21
At least they weren't in it
Tripartita 45
What a shitty situation. Erm, hold on. My deck of generic puns got shuffled. I hope you mean EX kitt—whoops, wrong deck. Meow, cat food, litter boxes. (I had to wing it.)
RichardPencil 32
Catastrophe That's the generic pun you needed here. Finish it off with: That sucks. I'm so sorry.
celestialphoenix 9
As soon as I got to ''Only problem? Cats.'' I was expecting the worst. Give 'em a week or so to get used to it. (If possible move the cats to a quieter area)
alex_jaguara 33
You have cat to be kitten me!
MetalxSoldier 26
Oh my gosh! Man, I thought you were going to say that you accidentally burned your cats alive! Well fyl but at least they are still alive.
Selene1090 26
When I first started reading, I got scared that the cats were somehow in there when you turned it on. So glad that's not what happened.