Pro gamer move

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 07:04 - France

Today, I wanted to play Among Us for a little distraction. I ended up having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 205

Sorry…

Taking stock

I can't eat these

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 01:36 - France

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 024

You deserved it 11 247

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 376

You deserved it 34 207

By xero_art - 26/06/2009 09:51 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 755

You deserved it 7 720

By Anonymous - 17/12/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 360

You deserved it 9 828

By Username - 22/06/2012 06:02 - United States

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 127

You deserved it 4 177

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 15:14 - United States - Dalton

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 342

You deserved it 1 887

By the_dog_sitter - 13/03/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I was walking my friend's dog around the neighborhood, as I was walking I noticed a little girl fall off her bike. I let go of the dog and ran over to help. The girl was ok but the dog ran into the street and got hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 533

You deserved it 24 520

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 430

You deserved it 6 904

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 20:57 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 710

You deserved it 4 801

By meikd423 - 10/09/2010 16:36 - France

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 797

You deserved it 4 542

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 14:31 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 821

You deserved it 7 431

Overbearing much?!

By lily - 25/06/2020 05:04

Today, while on a road trip, we stopped and went to the bathroom. I didn’t need to go, but my parents told me to "try anyway." I’m 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 345

By fattie4life - 20/07/2009 22:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 082

You deserved it 8 052

By top dog! - 11/10/2011 20:05 - Australia

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 414

You deserved it 2 925

By SlappyMcGee - 08/01/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I was talking to a hot girl at the bus stop. She seemed interested in me and I was feeling a connection forming. When the bus came, I offered to let her board first, but she said it "wasn't her bus" and said goodbye. Later, I realized I'd spent 20 minutes making moves on a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 176

You deserved it 7 159

By Crazy Mom - 10/06/2013 05:13 - United States

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 074

You deserved it 4 617

By slickrick22 - 27/02/2012 02:43 - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 528

You deserved it 3 913

By JC - 06/12/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 490

You deserved it 9 830

By Anonymous - 23/10/2013 07:40 - United States

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 584

You deserved it 4 637

By abygalee - 10/07/2016 20:42 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 934

You deserved it 696

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 02:00

Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 73

What happened?

By Kallian - 25/11/2019 03:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I walked home and found a massive branch had fallen into my parking space. My first thought, "Thank God my car wasn't hit!" My second thought, "Where's my car?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 355

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 03:14 - New Zealand - Takanini

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 611

You deserved it 1 568

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 3 830

By Anonymous - 19/10/2015 09:26 - United States - Lexington

Today, my husband won't seek medical treatment for a condition he's been living with for years because he saw an episode of House, in which the treatment made the condition worse in a very rare instance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 974

You deserved it 1 807

By youre dumped shitforbrain - 19/08/2012 16:52 - Sweden - H?lleforsn

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 646

You deserved it 5 447

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 06:00

Today, my cat still loves my boyfriend more than me. I spent around 6 months convincing my boyfriend to get a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 405

By frosho - 09/03/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 369

You deserved it 5 590

By ywouldudomelikethat - 03/01/2016 20:02 - United States - Renton

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 514

You deserved it 4 552

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 625

You deserved it 3 914

By kady - 04/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 867

You deserved it 6 615

By EconM - 03/10/2013 15:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 128

You deserved it 5 327

By Tristan Brantley - 11/03/2012 07:36 - United States

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 843

You deserved it 3 366

By WhyDoINeedAName - 13/03/2013 19:51 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 345

You deserved it 8 158

By XxEmoWolfiexX - 24/05/2012 21:18 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 809

You deserved it 2 611

By Cheating - 27/01/2012 23:52 - United States

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 780

You deserved it 3 162

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 770

You deserved it 4 691

By A continent away - 02/09/2014 19:48 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, the security at the airport were nice enough to remind me to take the laptop out of my bag. I wish they'd also reminded me to put it back in before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 931

You deserved it 13 715

By JP - 18/06/2009 16:11 - Italy

Today, I went to the bank to make a withdrawal in order to celebrate my last day here in Italy with my friends. Apparently I'm overdrawn by 187 dollars so I'm eating nothing but leftover stale crackers to survive until I get free plane food on my way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 965

You deserved it 47 839

By PCop - 02/08/2010 23:21 - United States

Today, I was bored out of my mind at work. I told my coworker he was lucky to be leaving early. I forgot the reason of his early departure was to go to his grandfather's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 568

You deserved it 36 403

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FireS Pitt In kitten 2

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Sunday 29 November 2020 21:06

Need more context to make this more interesting.

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Saturday 28 November 2020 16:58

Were you the traitor?

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BurnInDemonFire 32

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Saturday 28 November 2020 16:58

Were you the traitor?

FireS Pitt In kitten 2

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Sunday 29 November 2020 21:06

Need more context to make this more interesting.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 76

Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 143