Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years-old. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
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Top comments
Blue_Black_fml 21
Dear God! I just hope that the test result is negative..
grahmagog 14
Im never suprised by walmart customers any more
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Comments (160)
kpc2424 13
I'm still laughing about this one! Someone just told me that they sell preg tests at the dollar store! Prob because they sell condoms there too! Anyone see a connection?
monnanon 13
all condoms have to be tested to the same standard so no there is no corellation. just check the date. if its anything like the pound stores in the uk it will be a brand name iten but not in the right language. we get a lot stuff in Greek for some reason
sassy2085 16
I can hear the banjo playing I the background while this all unfolded
Spark_Slicker 19
I literally felt sick while reading this.
wtfwhyfml 12
This is why I go to Walmart with a bag of popcorn. You never know the stupid shit that happens.
jwa2000 3
From all those positive tests!
Inkedldd 8
That's definantly near the top of the weirdness scale. Sorry you can't un-see that.
anders09ma 7
You should've shouted out "I hope you have a miscarriage!"
theworldismad 10
that whole pregnancy probably took place in that parking lot from the sex all the way to the future birth! Walmart: all I have to say "congrats"
rajput 17
welcome to Walmart. you will see some crazy shit.
gregnc_fml 18
Hummm ..sounds normal. Check out peopeofwalmart.com