Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years-old. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
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Top comments
Blue_Black_fml 21
Dear God! I just hope that the test result is negative..
grahmagog 14
Im never suprised by walmart customers any more
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Comments (160)
yourwifelovesme 25
Only at Walmart
brittyed 11
You should go to peopleofwalmart.com and submit this to their stories section! Make sure to tell them (if possible) that you were able to get it posted on FML as well, I'm sure they would love that! Also, I'm sorry you had to witness that OP. I worked at Walmart once in my younger years... and have seen things that cannot be unseen.
utohspaghettios 10
go on lmao
LindsayxMoore 18
Oh the god awful things we have to deal with. Do not get paid enough for it.
anniemeece 23
There's so many things wrong with this, but the one that really boggles me mind is why you would stick something you just peed on in in your mouth. D:
CharresBarkrey 15
You only pee on one side of the stick. And it has a cap that you can put back on that part.
worldclassrager 39
Security/police might put these people behind bars for indecent exposure...hope that will straighten them out..,
perdix 29
I'll bet Wal*Mart is pulling for positive. PS, I shop at Wal*Mart all the time. My choice is between a store that ***** over its workers or one that ***** me over.
sappy0 5
Amen to that!!
thisgirl97 7
Who in their right mind did the deed with that obviously unsanitary person in the first place!?!
buckdharma 37
Maybe she needed saliva on it too, you know, to cover oral.
joswife 1
Hahaha!
Cowsxgoxmoo78 8
Video or it didn't happen.
ohSNAPyall 26
Not a combination pregnancy test / thermometer.
mollusk07 2
That would be considered weird anywhere except Walmart.