Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try “things” while under the influence. I suggested he go down on me; he thought about it for a second and then said, “I would, but I don’t want to get scared when I take a look.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
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Top comments
darth1 18
Honestly that sounds like a fun way to end things.
mimiminx 23
You had to 'finally talk' your boyfriend into going down on you and now he's too scared to have sex with you after rolling off the bed?! He sounds like a bit of a pussy!
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Comments (136)
AGB10 19
I'm guessing you are the one who wears the pants in the relationship. Looks like they may not come off now. Lol
hienzburgess 9
He's needs to be talked into giving oral and then he's scared to have sex? How old are you guys? 8?
logankyng 15
Smh
lloyd123 17
smh? wad does that mean?
WickedKrazy 7
Shm= shaking my head
illegalbeagle69 23
Sellin' my hoes
illegalbeagle69 23
Shake head my, I am. 92
swordidfate 13
Did you have to give him the birds and the bees talk too?
Goblin182 27
Wish I could get that reaction from my wife.
Vaginabutter 15
my wife tries to pop my head like a zit when she cums.
Posthuman 26
Dear God I couldn't help but laugh as I pictured this.
BriannaMGK 15
Your boyfriend sounds a little fruity! Are you sure he's straight?! I've never heard of having to talk a guy into eating out, most men will jump right on it!
geekchick88 17
I was totally coming here to say the exact same thing! I've never had a guy who needed to be convinced to go down on me, and none of them panic like that when my thighs squeeze their head. Her boyfriend is a huge wuss.
bassfisher100 23
some guys just dont like the taste (i am one of them) but i still do it.
Kallian_fml 21
'Crocodile-style'? I just imagined a crocodile trying to give his girlfriend oral, though I can't imagine that would end well.
EnterSandman_fml 20
The imagery in this FML is fantastic. We shall name this gator death roll position the Steve Irwin in honor of our fallen comrade from down under.
Christala 8
The female-revenge to the "Harlem Struggle"? I'm not gonna describe it, you can google it yourselves.
Caitie_kid 8
Ugh! Why did I google that!? Fair warning, if anyone ever tried to "Harlem struggle" me I would just bite it off and swallow it whole. Good luck getting it back!
SeenBean93 10
I wasn't bothered about googling it until I read your comment, now I'm traumatised. But I agree, they'd totally deserve to have it bitten off for doing that.
sabbyheartswhat 23
I had to google it. I've seen some shit in my life. But that... I can see a fight breaking out. You choke me, I'm choking you. Turn about is fair play.
RedPillSucks 33
I don't get why the women don't simply bite down?
Cazz91 21
During this week on a bed, as I recall it was on my bed, convinced my boyfriend with a simple plea, trapped his head while he went down on me as I jizzed in his face. Rolling off the bed as panic struck, I don't think next time there will be any luck, decided to write this tale on FML and I jizzed in my pants!
senor_awesome 14
Nice try, A for effort on this one.
Cazz91 21
Well, at least I now know that the people of FML do not like the lonely island. Tried to make a funny by changing out some things with the lyrics for the fml situation and got thumbed down hardcore. Damn. I can at least Pat myself on the back for never using a over used "shitty situation" pun in any fml. :)
azwethinkweiz87 11
Rawr! Sounds like a good time. Pity he's a scaredy cat hehe, he should feel good he got that kind of reaction from you ;)