Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
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Top comments
barroomhero 0
It's okay, every girl who sees you will jump you.
Fml37 0
You don't sparkle, you flame :p
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Comments (599)
penisface69 17
omg! i have to try this!
VoodooDoll17 0
Ahaha, Edward Cullen, anyone? xD
theodivine 0
Haha this is cute. Since when do Vampires sparkle? I guess it's something from Twilight? I refuse to see the movie and read the books because people won't shut the **** up about it.
emikonaito 0
Niice, welcome to the world of twilight -.- I thought the FML was funny though =) hope you aren't as sparkly now~ As for everything else, I read the first book, but I thought it was okay, nothing special. I don't see the big deal for anything about it. Even the movie kinda sucked. Just an opinion though.
bubblybrooke 12
EDWARDDDDD :D lmfao it's ok but you don't look like jacob, so you can't be THAT hot. Jacob<3 all the way :) but yeah, YLIF cuz you'll be chased by tons of screaming teens :) lol
Ayagami 0
So THAT'S what Edward uses! O:
Sokai_fml 0
Haha, it was Olay, wasn't it? I've used it before. xD;
love15_fml 8
EDWARD! LOL You could have tons of girls if they saw you... think of all the girls after RPatz. :P
brittdr 0
TML = Twilight My Life. Seriously? It always says what the soap does in the fine print! I don't go after edward. Jasper all the way.
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
girls will love you, guys will call you queer.