Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
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Top comments
barroomhero 0
It's okay, every girl who sees you will jump you.
Fml37 0
You don't sparkle, you flame :p
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Comments (599)
WaterMist 0
LOL I was just going to comment-- you can pretend to be Edward Cullens and pick up girls! But I guess I wasn't the only one who thought of this. Damn. LOL.
ohJeeznotme 7
Um, the Twilight horse has been beaten, resurrected and beaten to death again. What is wrong with a guy sparkling? All you bashers are just reinforcing male stereotypes and acting like a bunch of retarded lemmings following each other because its not cool to be different. Sparkles are fun...even for men. Regular soap sucks.
Nandian90 0
I cannot decide! It's FYL because you had no idea you would sparkle. But not YDI because now you can hit on any hot Twilight fans. LOL Favorite FML! I wonder if the maker of this soap is a Twilight Fan and created it with this purpose.... hmmm.
InsomniaCafe 11
Oh God. There's a Twilight advertisement next to this FML! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
GabriLee 0
It's because there is a massive collection of ads stored up for websites and whenever a webpage has a specific topic in it multiple times (Twilight, in this case) they'll have an ad to suit your needs.
roflstephh 0
you're going to have twilight fans all over you
krs1234 0
twilight haaaaaaa
vampirate 0
POOP POOP POOP POOP Now that I've got your attention, let me just ask why everyone's first thought is "ZOMG edward teehee!!!", and not "damn, I wish I could just randomly find some new body wash in the shower!"
insomniacdude 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good catch. I totally missed that. Though not because of Twilight - I wouldn't have thought of that if it wasn't mentioned already.
DearGravity 0
Twilight tweenies will swoop. Be careful.
tre3s 0
it'll work out for you cuz lots of girls are into the sparkly type now a days thanks to edward cullen :D
Hazy_fml 0
Twilight Fangirls are going to eat you up.