Poopoo peepee, Birds and Animals: Makeover

Makeover

By Eric Ngan - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 771

You deserved it 2 217

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Top comments

SpottedZebra42 14

Saturday 12 May 2012 23:15

That pigeon sure didn't tweet you right!

gottageek 17

Saturday 12 May 2012 23:14

Sounds like you should have rotisserie pigeon as vengeance.

Comments

BobbyBoss 10

Thursday 26 July 2012 1:56

KEVIN!

captainburke 5

Saturday 4 August 2012 17:20

Piece of shit I'd grab him and throw him in the microwave

hazerdagreek 18

Friday 6 September 2013 7:09

Am I the only person who thinks people who buy expensive vases are just asking for trouble? D:

Keywords

Public freakouts Health Relatable Geek Music Scams Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Work Art Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 76

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 223

The Top

Today, my boyfriend invited me to swim at his house. I'm very obese, so I had some reservations about it, but he assured me it'd be alright. Instead, the whole time I was treated to his mother commenting on my weight umpteen times, and his brother calling me "Moby Dick" and throwing pool noodles at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 342

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 518

You deserved it 12 552

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 671

You deserved it 12 134

Today, four years after my husband passed away, my mother in law thought it was the right time to tell me my husband was cheating on me, and that they had met her and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 849

You deserved it 96

Today, I woke up to find my girlfriend not sleeping next to me. I go to my car and found a plethora of printed screenshots of me commenting things like, “So hot babe”, “Beautiful! I’d tap that” and other compliments on my female friends’ pictures on Facebook. My girlfriend’s not picking up her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 4 458

Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 706

You deserved it 8 690