Loosey-goosey

By knickersdontfit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 364
You deserved it 8 259
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Top comments

chazzlerazzle 0

Wow, this FML totally brings back memories. Well okay, it may seem disjointed and unrelated at first, but it clicks together at the end. So there I was, back in 'Nam, on a routine patrol about five kliks out from Hanoi. There's me riding shotgun, looking real constipated, sparkling in the sunlight and staring out across the war-torn fields like a god damn wannabe vampire straight out of a really crappy book saga. Little Jimmy was in the back, having his way with a pre-pubescent gopher. Yeah, Jimmy always was a little cracked in the head, but God bless him, he saved my life when I accidentally walked into that Klan meeting wearing nothing but a **** me dress and a makeshift thong made from an elastic band. But I digress. We were rolling on back to base when it happened. An IED blew our nuts off, and it all went downhill from there. Say what you like about the Viet Cong, but they sure knew how to lay a good ambush. Thankfully, the sheer amount of light reflecting off my bare sparkling chest blinded them and we took a good few of 'em out before their air support rained chloroform-soaked panties down on our feminine forms. Well, what are you gonna do against that? Little Jimmy didn't stand a chance. Screamed "WIIIIIII!" like a man possessed and inhaled enough chloroform to kill an ox. Yeah, we were never quite the same after that. Quit the army and took to posting "WI" on first posts across the internet in honour of Lil' Jim, God rest his soul. Wee-woo.

114 14
FMLephant 2

A shit? They're pretty simple.

60 5

Comments

jkjorn 15

Let me guess; there was a bunch of celery in your grocery bag? (lets see if anyone gets that reference!)

0 1
jkjorn 15

Nope. Here's the deal: lileks.com/institute/frahm/indexmain.html

0 1
Mr_Darkside 5

its working alright. Have a cookie and by some new panties while your at it.

0 0
sodapopper 6

what, I ask, is the point of making "comments" on the internet anymore, anywhere with moderators?? because we're not truly allowed to speak our minds as readers, posters and followers of websites like FML. This is bologna. it really is. I mean, why waste time commenting, when you're taking the whole idea and point of commenting and turning into something it was never supposed to be. you're like people on stinking OLD myspace, who only "approve" of comments after they've been pre-screened...well you know what? BOOOOOO to your mod'ing. The WHOLE POINT OF MAKING A COMMENT IS TAKING THE GOOD WITH THE BAD, YOU DOUCHE BAGS. Put on your pants that aren't pissy, stop being cowards and accept what people say, and then...get over it if you don't like it. I know its a privately owned domain here fellas, but come on, grow a few pairs, and remember that one of the most valuable things people take the most pride and comfort in is their FREEDOM*. Go ahead and edit that all out. I'm sure you will anyways.. Hopefully someone see's it before you slaughter the truth.

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chasity_27 2

well... congrats on loosing the weight. I guess.

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mrmerino 0

holy shit, I just realized that would make an awesome weight-loss company commercial!

0 0
madalynn 11

that would actually make me happy. I would just laugh it off & be positive about it, then say to surrounding people "welp, guess my diet's working!"

1 0