Today, I asked my husband what he wanted for his birthday, hinting that he could have anything sexual, and he asked me to… take the kids and visit my mother over the weekend, so he could have 48 hours totally alone, naked, drinking beer, and playing his Xbox. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my upcoming birthday. Mindful of our budget, I said I just wanted to relax at home all day and then get a nice dinner with her. She blew up and yelled that I'm "using my birthday to be a lazy slug." FML
Today, for my birthday, my wife gave me a "day to myself", except less than 20 minutes after I woke up it was, "could I quickly drive her to an appointment?", and "can we do a quick grocery shop?", and, "the kids need this and that." At bedtime, she asked me how I’d enjoyed my day to myself, seriously. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML
Today, on my birthday night, my husband decided to book a trip for himself to go on a solo trip, leaving me with the kids. Instead of hanging out with us and celebrating, he's yelling at our son to leave him alone so he can finish booking the airfare and car rental. Great birthday. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML
Today, for my birthday, I'd told my boyfriend I wanted a full day in bed with Netflix, champagne, frequent sex, and a takeaway pizza at teatime. He managed sex twice 4 hours apart, kept falling asleep watching Netflix, drank too much, and threw up his pizza all over my boobs. FML
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Top comments
leogs23 25
I mean …. Is that so bad ?
EBrogen 12
What me and my fellow introverts know, alone time is under rated. Nothing clears the mind better.
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Comments (14)
randybryant799 21
Geez the poor guy wants some alone time. Is that really asking for too much?
bobsanction 18
It's his birthday, give him what he wants.
mccuish 25
Sounds like a great birthday to me
Jaellynthecursed 9
Tell him that you will if he does the same for you on your birthday.