By ShouldHaveDoneItMyself - Sudan Today, I didn't have the courage to tell the guy who likes me that I only thought of him as a friend, so I asked my best friend to do it for me. It turns out that her way of doing this is telling him to "fuck off" and then punching him in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 9076 You deserved it 12253 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Herestheskinny Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML I agree, your life sucks 4496 You deserved it 468 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aasatt22 - United States Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML I agree, your life sucks 64750 You deserved it 8655 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By staceyymaee - United States - Indianapolis Today, my new futon mattress arrived. Upon laying it out on the frame, I realized IKEA has whack bed sizings. When I went to return the mattress for a queen, they informed me a queen mattress wouldn't be here until sometime next week. I already threw out my old crappy mattress. FML I agree, your life sucks 9841 You deserved it 2508 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML I agree, your life sucks 1210 You deserved it 3386 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML I agree, your life sucks 37965 You deserved it 3998 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Norway - Oslo Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML I agree, your life sucks 28842 You deserved it 2454 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML I agree, your life sucks 30034 You deserved it 2629 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Blue_belle Observational Comedy 101 Today, I was wearing a cute black dungaree dress with a purple top underneath. I thought I looked pretty good, until my son told me I looked like an evil Minion. FML I agree, your life sucks 1283 You deserved it 288 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TwinDad - United States Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML I agree, your life sucks 68951 You deserved it 6461 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Leftattheairport Today, I went to pick up my long distance boyfriend at the airport. It has been over six months since I last saw him and four days since I last heard from him. He never showed up. FML I agree, your life sucks 2560 You deserved it 378 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ben Moy - 2/2/2021 07:57 - United States - Wallingford Once bitten… Today, after worrying for years about grinding my teeth after various dentists mentioned seeing evidence. Apparently, this worry manifested as subconsciously putting my tongue in the way at night, to the point where I have an open bite at 39 when I never had a problem before. I can't bite through sushi or sandwiches. FML I agree, your life sucks 627 You deserved it 92 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By losingit - United States Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML I agree, your life sucks 84028 You deserved it 3791 368 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Branman2480 - United States Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML I agree, your life sucks 28364 You deserved it 4107 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nick - Australia Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML I agree, your life sucks 31616 You deserved it 4690 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML I agree, your life sucks 56877 You deserved it 5525 220 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whotouchedyou1 - United States - Cypress Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 57073 You deserved it 11732 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gabe8 - Mexico Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML I agree, your life sucks 17377 You deserved it 96041 272 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jibberish - United States Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML I agree, your life sucks 15654 You deserved it 38887 215 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML I agree, your life sucks 22697 You deserved it 4544 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Sebastian Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML I agree, your life sucks 46480 You deserved it 3452 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cmilla - United States Today, I was setting up comcast cable boxes for my house. I had the packaging everywhere when I finished. Looking admirably at my job, I backed out my door, and stepped on bubble wrap, scaring myself. I flailed, fell, reached out, grabbing one of the cable wires. I pulled the cable box and my modem off. FML I agree, your life sucks 10466 You deserved it 22388 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By he fucking smells like death! - United States - Hesperia Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML I agree, your life sucks 3000 Phew, glad it wasn't me 367 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Meghan - 5/9/2020 08:01 - United States - New York Breaking Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML I agree, your life sucks 1598 You deserved it 81 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LoserOfTheYear - United States Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML I agree, your life sucks 34034 You deserved it 9984 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - V?ster Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML I agree, your life sucks 32492 You deserved it 7179 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Numbnuts - United States Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML I agree, your life sucks 11284 You deserved it 38352 217 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thoughtitwasspecial - United States Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML I agree, your life sucks 29430 You deserved it 20649 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Look's like she's paying all of it now. Today, I got into a very intense fight with my roommate about rent payment. She got so angry that she snatched my purse, walked out into the hallway and threw it down the garbage chute. Along with my money, my driver's licence, my credit cards and my monthly pay check was in that purse. FML I agree, your life sucks 3730 You deserved it 314 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/6/2020 08:09 So wrong Today, my boyfriend came over to meet my family. When I told him I had an autistic brother before he came in, he immediately broke up with me because he claimed autism is another word for overprotective. I've been dating an idiot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1733 You deserved it 196 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JessThompson - Canada - Hamilton Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML I agree, your life sucks 24876 You deserved it 4327 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gonavybeatarmy - United States - San Diego Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML I agree, your life sucks 37539 You deserved it 4966 233 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kitchencrime - United States Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML I agree, your life sucks 44678 You deserved it 4456 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By morenita27 - Canada Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML I agree, your life sucks 51365 You deserved it 4057 325 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By a-scared - United States Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML I agree, your life sucks 41492 You deserved it 8610 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was able to check my voicemail and email for the first time in two weeks. The only message I got was from my landlord telling me that the house I'm renting is in foreclosure, and I needed to have all my stuff out in ten days. He left the message nine days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 43106 You deserved it 5747 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Bloomfield Hills Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML I agree, your life sucks 45569 You deserved it 4198 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thay - United States Today, I logged onto Tinder to see if I had any messages. I had one: "Get off Tinder." FML I agree, your life sucks 13840 You deserved it 1652 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unlucky - United States Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML I agree, your life sucks 12656 You deserved it 25663 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By combo - France Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML I agree, your life sucks 8946 You deserved it 27436 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charlie Given | 23 #7692911 - Thursday 13 September 2018 21:13 Is this the newest web challenge swatting flies with your feet 😂🤣😏 Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7692911 - Thursday 13 September 2018 21:13 Is this the newest web challenge swatting flies with your feet 😂🤣😏 Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 716 You deserved it 48 4 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 883 You deserved it 310 6 Comments