By AstralLuna - 5/3/2021 08:01 - United States - Sacramento

Keep up!

Today, I, a demigirl struggling with her identity, have decided to change my name. When I told my dad in therapy (of all places) that I was a demigirl, he struggled to understand me. When I told my mom I was changing my name, she yelled at me and refused to call me it. And she wonders why I don't trust her. FML
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By  Chazzster  |  20

I confess I had to Google “demigirl” to even know what you meant. While I appreciate that people might want a neat little name for the way they identify, when you pop out a term not in the common vocabulary and expect everyone to know what it means it can cause confusion at best.

I am sorry that your gender identity is causing you problems with your parents. It’s difficult for parents to accept that their child is not the person they had thought they were raising. Sometimes it takes time for them to accept. I hope that your parents come to accept you as you are. Hopefully the counseling will ultimately be helpful. Bear in mind that it could be worse - Some people have had even worse reactions from their parents.

By  Fata Morgana 1029  |  8

I'll tell you the same thing I tell others who don't have family support when they come out. Screw it. I'm your mom now. Drink enough water. Eat healthy. Get enough sleep. You're still loved.

COMMENTS
By  Chazzster  |  20

I confess I had to Google “demigirl” to even know what you meant. While I appreciate that people might want a neat little name for the way they identify, when you pop out a term not in the common vocabulary and expect everyone to know what it means it can cause confusion at best.

I am sorry that your gender identity is causing you problems with your parents. It’s difficult for parents to accept that their child is not the person they had thought they were raising. Sometimes it takes time for them to accept. I hope that your parents come to accept you as you are. Hopefully the counseling will ultimately be helpful. Bear in mind that it could be worse - Some people have had even worse reactions from their parents.

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  depressive_sod  |  11

Dude's just messing with ya'... 'Demi' Moore, 'Demi' Lovato... yeah...

it does get really sodding complicated trying to explain things which are not well-known. Terms like gay, bi, or lesbian are pretty well known these days, and probably easier to accept than the 'TIA+' part of the equation.

Maybe try to explain 'transfeminine' to your parents first, before using even more obscure terms (like demigirl or Doe for example).

#shrug, up to you, to each their own. btw, maximum kudos to you for having the guts to come-out. btw, if your age information is correct, you have some time left in your life, so not to fret. Imagine this revelation happening to you late in your 30's...

By  Fata Morgana 1029  |  8

I'll tell you the same thing I tell others who don't have family support when they come out. Screw it. I'm your mom now. Drink enough water. Eat healthy. Get enough sleep. You're still loved.

By  anomynous  |  10

I hope you know that it's fantastic you're coming to terms with your identity, and I hope you receive the unconditional love you deserve. Ignore everyone who tells you you're not valid or your identity is fake. Much love from an agender human who knows what it's like 💙💙

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  phybreawptic  |  12

And...? Not everyone is so ready to accept this life change. And there's nothing wrong with that. Was her mom's reaction irrational? Probably. But that doesn't mean she won't come around.

By  sarsuela  |  24

Seems like it took you time and therapy to understand yourself, can you really bame your parents for struggling to understand?
I do hope they (start to) support you.

Hey OP, congrats on your coming out and your new name is beautiful.

I’m sorry your mom lashed out at you, but it seems like your dad might at least be trying to understand?

In any case, I can’t figure out why there are so many YDI reacts on this post. No one deserves to be torn down for embracing their truest self.

Hopefully your parents come around to sense, but if they don’t, then they don’t deserve you.

Much love ❤️

Why have so many people chosen the “you deserved it” option? Jeez.
I’ll admit, I don’t really understand ”queerness” (?) either, but it’s not my—or anyone else’s—business. We all deserve to be happy and safe.

I’m sorry that you’re struggling—I hope that you can continue to learn to accept yourself fully.

I obviously don’t know all the details when it comes to your father, but please be patient with him. Gender identity is confusing!
As for you mother...well, that’s a different matter. No parent should treat their child that way.

I admire your bravery. It’s not easy to learn to know yourself. :)