Cats and Love: Jealousy

Jealousy

By JLD - 11/10/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 332

You deserved it 5 150

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 4 195

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 407

You deserved it 6 381

I HATE YOU HOOMAN

By What? - 21/09/2022 11:00

Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 220

Telepathy?

By So tired - 24/05/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 370

By notevencatnipworks - 27/08/2018 13:00

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 314

HUMAN! I NEED ATTENTION!

By Mur - 09/09/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 121

Getting no pussy love

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 05:02

Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 403

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 079

You deserved it 21 069

Is gift

By catlady - 25/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 732

You deserved it 2 437

Hissing booth

By Carey - 03/09/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 254

H8rSk8r 0

Monday 11 October 2010 12:05

That's a pretty sour pussy if you ask me!

FFML_314 11

Monday 11 October 2010 12:09

That's because your husband bad talks you to the cat while you're gone. They're plotting. Be careful. WEAR SOCKS!

Comments

innocentcharlie 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 20:51

wtf can you really understand cat that much? Weird o.o

cycle227 3

Tuesday 12 October 2010 22:48

I hate cats sooo much...I'm sorry...

cbowen 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 3:03

some ones and attention *****;) haha and I'm talking about the cat

iHateThisLife 10

Wednesday 13 October 2010 8:12

I sense someone is having sexual frustration.

jfisch 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 23:11

I think your husband ****** your cat

Wintermut3 2

Friday 15 October 2010 10:28

People that put pets above people suck... if the cat won't accept you I'm sure a shelter will!

elainelovesyou 7

Sunday 17 October 2010 4:07

I think your husband took interest in the cat while you were gone..

doglady 16

Sunday 17 October 2010 4:36

that's why I have dogs...

Gamer_Bum 1

Sunday 17 October 2010 21:51

There's only room for 1 puss* in bobs life

flipcrazy 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 7:57

He got....catnapped...sigh nvm

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The Top

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 7 311

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 616

The Top

Another stand off, pick your fave!

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 124

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 730

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 1 926

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 006

You deserved it 5 074

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 828

You deserved it 2 796

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 204

You deserved it 5 616