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Today, my wife messaged me "Babe, can you save some energy for me after work?" I work 60 hours a week since she's not working, so it's been a while, and I excitedly said yes. Got home to find a note saying "Thank you for offering to clean the house!" FML
raspution tells us more.
OP: Lots of questions. I get home from work at 1am so she was sleeping. I cook and clean my own mess made from it the mess is almost all hers since she doesn't clean up for herself. We do not have any kids but that is the problem. About a year and a half ago she had her 3rd miscarriage. She became extremely depressed tried to hurt herself and so on. She is doing better now but I am getting tired of her being like this. she goes to counseling 2x a month and some times I just feel like she's using me. All of last year we only had sex 3 times and i don't want to leave her if she's really depressed and want her to get better but then crap like this makes me think she's just using me and taking advantage of it. Also I worry a 4th try wont fix things and if she had another miscarriage it would be worse.
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Top comments
Jurbla 14
Well, that pretty clearly seems like intentional manipulation on her part. Look at that expert use of vague, open ended language on the TEXT followed by that turn around to using a NOTE instead of face to face or the previously used text communication, reducing the chance of arguing. A note that very clearly indicates she knew you wouldn't have cleaning on your mind, or else it wouldn't have needed to explain what you "offered". Unless she has a medical condition or otherwise justifiable reason to not do house work, it's time to let her know that it's only fair that since you work 60 hours a week and she works 0, she do the majority of the house work. It's CERTAINLY not okay to manipulate you like that, either.
chosha_fml 26
If you cleaned the house, YDI.
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Comments (48)
sunnyskys 25
What exactly does she do all day while you’re at work, is she home the whole time?
tearbear14 13
Have you been to counselling with her? I'm sure that you are a little depressed about the misacariages too, but maybe she doesn't realize that. What she did was a little messed up, I'm sure she knew that you thought she meant sex. To be honest my soon to be husband and I don't have sex as we would like either as I hurt my leg pretty bad, so sex isnt the same and it's been hard, however talking about it and reassuring each other that no matter what we still love each other and we can get through this difficult time helps a lot. I've been in counselling before and to be honest, I think you could benefit from going together and talking about it. I feel like she is most likely scared to have sex because of the miscarriage, but she shouldn't try to manipulate you like that either.