Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United States
Health goals
Today, in an attempt to be more healthy, I made myself a large fruit smoothie. I didn't think it could or would cause me to practically shart my rectum out my ass for the rest of the afternoon. The more you know. FML
Top comments
cassidyfaber 5
So, when was the last time you've had any sort of fruit or vegetable? The only time I could imagine that happening is if you don't touch them at all. In which case, embrace the *****, because you obviously need some good fiber in your life.
ragnarok1540 39
Should have skipped the banana leaves ... Didn't you see Jumanji?
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Comments (32)
smoothies14 32
Cleaning house. Don't let that deter you from trying to start a healthy lifestyle.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Smoothies are actually full of sugar, you're better off eating a fruit (2 max a day) if you want to be healthier.
TheNewGuy03 29
There ya go, spreading rumors about how all sugar is bad. You might wanna read a book.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Dude, where did I say that all sugars are bad? I actually lost a lot of weight in the last few years and I am being followed by a professional nutritionist who gave me the same advice. You're better off having the fruits separately than combining them. Smoothies have a lot of sugar and you are bound to excess your recommended portions a day because you won't fill up a glass with just 2 fruits. Maybe you're the one who should open a book on that topic...
BabyCakes818 16
Normally this happens to me when my body is under extreme stress and exhaustion.
TonierShadow 19
You know fruit is high in sugar right? Sure it is healthy in small amounts but too much is unhealthy.
IamBeeZz 7
How the hell is fruit unhealthy?? Educate yourself please, I eat mostly fruits and never been healthier
BabooonLove 16
Everything in large quantities is bad for you.
TonierShadow 19
All i was saying is that they contain large amounts of sugar. Many physicians will also tell you the same. To lose weight, some physicians will also tell you to cut fruit from your diet. I don't know why i got down voted all because I shared a fact.
Forbid21 21
A lot of people aren't aware of that fact which is probably why you're getting downvoted. You are correct however, fruits have fructose in it which is a kind of sugar. Eating fruits like they are means you get just the right amount of sugar you need because your body signals you when you've had enough thanks to everything else a fruit has. But when made into a smoothie we remove that sort of signal and our body doesn't get informed when we've had enough sugar which is why smoothies are unhealthy especially in big quantities.
TonierShadow 19
Thank you, that was a better way of phrasing it.
CupOfCoffee 14
Finally, someone else with some common sense!
ThrottleJockey 36
Those prune juice smoothies will do it every time. I call it colostomy Drain-O. It's a great ab workout and you're defecating the pounds away!
BabooonLove 16
I think it helps if you put some vegetable based protein powder in the smoothie.
laden_swallow09 35
As opposed to sharting out your rectum from your mouth?
COSaikou 7
I guess you were full of...oh well! take it from me, don't let it weigh you down!
meatmaeta 21
Too much sugar. Sorry buddy.
MitiMiki 16
This happens a lot. It's the old "I'm gonna be healthy!" factor. People try to go from a crap diet to a "healthy" diet without doing the proper planning and research. I suggest that you take the time to evaluate what you are eating on a regular basis, and slowly try to substitute some healthier options, instead of going for the brass ring all at once. An example would be that if you are eating a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke for lunch... try drinking water instead of soda, then substituting a salad for the fries, and once you have made that a habit, swap out the burger for a chicken breast. Eating healthy is about changing bad habits and making better choices.